Letting go of Rambo was the hardest thing I had to
do since losing Lucky.
I remembered when I lost Lucky and I asked God to let
me keep Rambo for a while longer.
Rambo was helping me deal with my loss of
his daddy- Lucky.
The thought of losing either one was hard to deal with.
I can remember holding Rambo on my lap or him sleeping on
our bed while I patted him and kissed him.
All the while I would talk to him and tell him how much
” we loved him.” I would say to him
” you’re our little man and I hope you don’t have to leave
us too soon.
I don’t know what I’ll do if I lose you too.”
Well I found out on March 1 2002. I was totally lost!
It felt like another piece of me was gone- just like the day
I lost Lucky. Only with Rambo who was the baby of the bunch
we had to help him up and down the steps.
We had to take special care of him since he was going
blind and deaf. We had someone come over to baby-sit him if
we had to go off for any length of time.
Since he was our baby- it was worth all the work!!
I remember something my sister said after our mother died.
She had said that as much as she hated letting momma go
she remembered how God gave his only son for all of us.
I remember her saying that at the time she prayed to God-
” Dear Lord- I know you gave your only son for us but I’m not that
strong- I need your help.”
And afterwards she whispered to momma who was in a coma
at the time-” momma it’s all right to go if you’re ready- we’ll be okay”,
and momma left. It’s been hard on all of us since that day,
but we made it .
On March 1st I knew it was time to let Rambo go home to God.
As I held him and kissed him I told him to go find hid doggy
mommy and daddy in heaven. I came home feeling lost.
Even with all these big dogs around me- I was lost.
The one I wanted to love and hold- I couldn’t.
All I wanted to do was look at him hold him and love him.
Three days after I let him go I wanted to see and hold him so
bad that I stood at my kitchen window and I got the strangest
and strongest urge to go out and open up his grave
so I could see him.
That just about tore my heart out! I told myself over
and over again ” No- don’t do it!!”
I had to talk to someone just to try to reassure myself that I
wasn’t going insane.
I picked up the phone and called my sister Monica.
She told me that she was so upset after losing a couple of hers,
that she did go out and open their graves – just to prove
to herself that they were really gone.
She just lost another dog about 2 weeks before my Rambo.
We helped each other deal with our pain after losing our
beloved babies. I also have a dear friend named Jill who
I met after I lost Lucky. She helped me through losing Lucky and
sent me a beautiful ” Memorial Candle ” for Rambo.
That helped a lot.
Thank God for giving me Jill!!
On March 9 2002- I received another gift from God.
A beautiful Chihuahua puppy named Roscoe.
He is beautiful!!!
I think God put a little bit of Rambo and Lucky in Roscoe.
All his actions remind me of them both.
It makes me happy and sad.
It will take me a long time to get over losing Rambo just like
it did with Lucky but Roscoe God and my friend Jill will help me.
I share my broken heart with all of you who have lost
your precious babies.
” Rambo- my baby boy – be good and remember mommy loves
and misses you.
One day I will join you in heaven and you will meet
your new brother Roscoe one day also.”
Love,
Mommy