You were just a little kitten when I found you a summer night 5,5 years ago unable to eat or even walk yet, you were so tiny!I knew that if I left you in the streets you would die so I took you home with me. Little by little you grew into a lovely black male cat My big black panther
as I used to call you.
The past years of my life were extremely difficult and troublesome. I had to endure many bad situations that some times were a bit too much for me to handle. I felt desperate and scared at times. The only thing that kept me going during all these lonely, lonely nights was you and your love. You were the husband I missed, the child I will never have, my best friend and devoted partner. Always there for me when no one else was, always willing to comfort me. And you did it so well. I used to call you my anti – depressant, remember? Indeed you were!! I wouldn’t have made it without you. It is as if God dropped you in my arms in a time when you were so needed.
And as if you were waiting for my life to get in order, as soon as it did, you left. You waited with me for 5. 5 years and when I moved on with my life you didn’t follow! But you were still so needed! You brought joy and peace in my heart in a way no one could. Being without you is so painful. I want so much to cuddle you again and kiss you and see your loving and tender face. I miss you so much my sweet, sweet baby.
Did you know how much I loved you? I always said I would let nothing bad happen to you ever. But when you went I couldn’t do anything to keep you here with me. 8 days have passed. The pain is still so intense that there are times when I think my heart will brake. When I lie in bed and you don’t come next to me I can hardly bear it. Everything reminds me of you and the time we shared together.Nothing makes me happy and all I want to do is cry.
You were only 5, 5 years old. You still had such a long way to go. Hypertrophic cardiomyopathy they told me. We made it through the first episode of thromboembolism but 9 months later you had a second one and didn’t make it. I say you just had a very big heart. A heart that saved my life! Thank you my baby!!
I miss you so much
| Christine |