by Devorah Herbert / Devorah Herbert 07/11/04

You are gone. I know.
But I look for you everywhere.
This is so hard.
Janice. I miss you. I love you so much.

You are gone. I am alone.
You were my best friend. Why?
I am angry. I am sad.
My shoulders can’t carry this weight.
I fall on the living room floor screaming.

You are gone. Admitting this is crazy.
We did everything together.
We found each other.
I can’t stop crying.
I can’t stop finding your hairs all over my clothes.

You are gone. Inside I am burning.
How do I mourn?
How do I stop looking for you?
You were all I had. All I loved.

You are gone. I am so empty.
Janice I did not know you were so sick.
I am so sorry.
I held you on the way to the ER.
My body clinging to yours. Panic.
It was too late.

You are gone. I can’t do this.
I emptied your food bowl. You haunt me.
I will always keep your ashes.
My bed is empty. My heart is ripped away.
My room is cold. I wish I was with you.
I promise I will find you one day.

You are gone. I refuse to say goodbye.
I will see you again. I will find you I promise.
My kitty. My mamma-cat. Janice Olivia Herbert
5 years old. Died of heart failure. 07/10/04
I love you.


Devorah Herbert