It’s been exactly one week since you passed away. I mourn her passing every day since. The hurt and pain at times is unbearable. Each day, there are constant reminders of your life her with us and how much we have lost as a family.
I can’t believe you’re gone. You went so quickly and without warning, or so I thought. Twelve hours before, you went on your usual hike and swim with me. Did I not notice that you were walking slower than usual or did I not want to face the fact that indeed you were getting older? YOu had no appetite, yet you seemed to be in good spirits. That was so typical of you never letting us know when you weren’t feeling well.
I cooked you a special meal that remained untouched. Yet you continued to wag your tail and look at me with those all knowing wise eyes of yours. I knew in my heart that your passing would be soon. If only I know how soon! When I left you alone to run errands, you didn’t jump up and ask to ride in the car. You always loved the car even if it was only to the store. I picked up your dad. Driving home, dad wanted to make more stops but I declared that we needed to go home immediately.
I just had a strange feeling.
Walking into the house, you had no strength to greet us. You smiled feebly but didn’t want to move. On your last walk with mommy and daddy, you stood in the park and sniffed, as if savoring the moment. The walk back to the car was slow. Later that night, you paced and still had no appetite. I knew, but prayed and wished for that miracle once more. Remember your nickname was the Amazing Indy! I can’t recall the short ride to the vet. You were in cardiac arrest and he told us that we were going to lose you. You spent a year surviving your heart condition. You NEVER give up the fight. You went down on your terms. Your family was with you at the beginning and we were all there at the end.
Tomorrow, when we scatter your ashes to the wind, know that you will always be in our hearts in this life and the next. There will be a void in our hearts forever. My beloved baby girl, you gave us more than we could ever give you. I promise to live and cherish life the way you lived yours. Appreciate the simple pleasures, enjoy your family, smell the grass and flowers, and know that each day is a blessing.
ONE WEEK MISSING YOU MORE AND MORE
MOMMY, DADDY, JAZZ, AND BEN
Missing INDY,
| Janise, Bill, Jazz, and Ben |