Dear Kelsey:
I miss you today, like I have every minute of every day since you left us that Friday night six weeks ago. I long to see you, to kiss your sweet face, to hold you. You are the most favorite friend I’ve ever had. Nearly nine years is not long enough, but I am grateful for the time we had. I just don’t know what to do without you here.
I know I need to forgive myself for not recognizing your pain in time to do anything about it. But how can I when it caused you to lose your life? Can you help me with that? Can you figure out some way to rationalize what I did so I can not feel so guilty?
I hope that you are having a good time with everyone around you there. I hope God is throwing your frisbee for you every time you ask and that he is not fussing at you for licking or begging for food at the table. I hope there is a long beach for you to bounce in the water liked you loved to do. I hope there are soft beds and sofas for you to lie on while you nap. Most of all, I hope that you are not alone or frightened by the thunder.
Come and see me, sweetie. I will be here when you come. I promise I’ll try to recognize you, even if you’re not in your old body. I loved that body. Every single inch of you was beautiful. But it was you I loved the most, your sweet disposition, your funny personality. If you don’t come, I will try to understand. I’m not very good company these days for anyone to visit. It’s because I miss you so much.
I still love Sasha like always, but that doesn’t stop my tears. Kenzie is adorable and I am quickly coming to love her, but she isn’t you. No other person or animal will ever be you and I can’t see myself ever loving anyone the way I loved you.
My heart is aching. My only solace is knowing that you’re not in pain and free from your aging earthly body. I couldn’t bear it when you hurt.
I will love you for as long as there is breath in my body. I will miss you for longer than that. I so wish you were here with me again, so I could touch your soft ears and listen to you snore as you sleep next to me. I’d give you a good butt scratch too and squirt Ready-Whip in your mouth. You could back up and sit all 80 lbs of yourself in my lap again. How I long for those days. If only I could go back and do it all again, I would make sure you got to the vet in time.
I love you baby girl. Be good for God and have fun. I’ll see you before you know it.
Hugs and Kisses,Mbr>
| John & Kristine McCreery |