Dearest Peanut,
I had no idea I would hurt so much, that my heart would ache this much without you… You are my love, my baby, my sweet little Peanut – You will always be with me in my heart. I hope you will always remember how much I love you and know that I will miss you always and forever.
People thought I was crazy for adopting a elderly, blind, barely walking, mixed breed mutt – But that is not what I saw when I looked at you, I was taken aback when I met you thinking, how could a dog so little be filled with so much love? You were a dog who just glowed with love and happiness, even after you had been let down by so many people in your past. You were a loving dog who just wanted to be loved and have a place to call home, with a nice warm snuggly bed to sleep in. Everytime you looked at me Peanut, I saw hope and faith in your eyes. You believed in me like no one else, you belived I would love you and protect you no matter what. You had faith that I would always be there for you and love you forever, I hope that I haven’t let you down.
Last night was the hardest night of my life, it felt to soon I didn’t want to let you go because I love you so much. But to see you so sick and lifeless, I knew you old body couldn’t fight anymore, and I knew that it was God’s turn now, it was God’s turn to expierence the wonderful love that you have to offer. When I was holding you last night, wrapped up in your towel like a little baby, I knew your body couldn’t go on anymore but I was afraid to let you go. In the months before I cried and prayed as your health got worse because I knew someday this would end. I prayed for a sign from God, something to know that I was doing the right thing and you let me know last night, you gave me a sign. When I held you in my arms and you started to snore, louder then I have ever heard you snore before… I knew it was okay then, that you were tired, tired of fighting and that you loved me and that you were going to be okay.
I let you go last night because I knew it was the right thing to do for you but today is harder then I every expected it would be. Your bed is empty, your food bowls still have food and water in them. I can’t bring my self to empty them, I can’t even go in the kitchen because your area is empty… Your wheely-bag is in my car, it is hard to imagine you not riding in it anymore, that was your signature mode of transportation, you were the only dog traveling in zebra print bag on wheels. You never even got the chance to be a bumble bee for Halloween, I know you wouldn’t care, you never minded dressing up because you knew I loved it so.
I called the hospital this morning, and they are all very sad that you are gone, you touched so many peoples lives, you brought joy and happiness to everyone around you and I have been truely blessed to have you in my life for the time that I did. I love you Peanut, you will always be my baby. I will never forget you, and the things you taught me, I will continue to think about you everyday and miss you but I hope it will get easier with time. I will talk to you everyday because even thought you are not here to snuggle with I know you are in my heart and with me everywhere I go.
Peanut, I hope I was able to give you a wonderful life for the last of your days. You had a rough life before you met me and all I wanted to do was provide you with the love I thought you deserved. I had no idea how much I would gain in return. You are truely amazing and I will never forget you.
Mommy loves you Peanut, always and forever.
| Kate Robinson |