It is December 26, 2004. The day after my first Christmas without you Butchie. It was very hard for me. Everyone getting presents at Aunt Colette’s house. Aunt Rosemary received a gift of a snowman petting a dog. It was named “Best Friend”. It took every breath for me not to cry. You were my best friend and you took a part of my heart with you when you died November 20,2004.
You won’t believe what Daddy gave me for Christmas sweetie. He gave me a locket with your picture inside. He told me that he had some reservations if he should do it but I cried and told him that I loved it. You will always be with me.
It has been so hard to keep a happy face this Christmas but I did it for Melanie, Kevin and your brothers Murphy and Shamis. I wanted Christmas to be fun for them.
You will never believe what happened on Christmas Eve. Michele and Mikes house started on fire and thank God they were home and awake and able to get out and get your friends Buster and Candy out in time. It has been a holiday season to forget.
I wanted you to know how much I miss you even though you probably already know. I know Butchie, you don’t want me to be sad anymore and to keep going but I can’t get past your passing. I knew I would be missing you and sad but I never imagined that I would be this bad. Everyday I just start crying and then I keep going like you want. Those poor people out there that during this time of my grief just don’t understand what and how I feel. They have their dog that they love with all their hearts but just don’t get it!! My heart feels sorry for them because when their time comes to deal with the death of their beloved dog they will be going through the same and calling me for sympathy and I just don’t know if I could give it because they feel that “it’s not my dog” so its okay”. That is how I feel they are thinking. Saying things like “I buried a friend this week” Me saying I buried a friend too and my best friend and baby”. All I got was did you get the ashes? I just don’t understand how people could just care about themselves and what goes on in their lives. I guess I am just different. I was panicking about Michele’s dogs during the fire because at first we didn’t know they were home and losing the house, it can be replaced but their beloved dogs can not be replaced.
People out there that only care about their lives and their dogs and the attitude of “its not my dog” be careful because when your beloved dog goes I will be the same to you and I will say “now you know how I felt when Butchie died, now don’t you feel like an idiot
for treating me that way”?
No one understands the bond I had with Butchie but me and Butch do and he will watch over me for ever.
I love you my baby, be happy and enjoy heaven and wait for me. I will be there one day and I first one I will be looking for will be you.
Forever in My Heart,
| Sue Giannosa |