" Radar " 
1 / 17 / 80 ---- 3 / 9 / 98
YOUR LOOKS
By Sandy Zier-Teitler
Those looks you gave me in your last days
Did you know what I was thinking?
Did you hate me for my thoughts?
I wonder if you really knew
What was going through my mind.
A wish to give you relief
Yet confusion because I wanted you to stay.
Could you read my thoughts,
or did you only see part?
The part that said "let him go"
And think I loved you no more?
Those looks in your last days
Not meeting me eye to eye
Ignoring me when you walked bye
Did you not love me at the end?
Yes there were times
I thought it would be better if you left.
But not for any convenience of my own.
But for your life your dignity and your honor.
Did you construe this love as loss of love?
Or feel that Daddy had replaced you in my heart?
Nothing could be further from the truth.
Your perceived "loss of love" was confusion and despair.
My heart embraces you and will never let you go
You must know that and I must believe you do
Or to my death I'll always wonder if at the end
Those looks were because you no longer loved me.
Those looks cause me guilt because I may never know
If you know to what extent I love you
My actions were out of confusion and despair
And in a sense selfishness as I could not think of life without you.
You touched so many lives,
Your spirit made you special
We all know where you are now,
You are buried in our hearts forever.
| Teitler |