Chloe {Little Bon} by Marsha Carlson / Mama

My little bon is gone. I lost her on May 18. She was almost eleven years old. She was the 3rd and youngest bichon in our immediate family. She was full of the devil most of her life, but in the last couple years so much more mellowed out.

Arthritis and bad hips and a disc disease starting to progress pretty rapidly since last July. She’d been on meds and they seemed to stop working. She stopped eating pretty much, no water, and didn’t drink her “iddies” much anymore either. I always said the milk kept her white. I lived with her in a nice apartment, but over the years she was used to living with another bichon, her cousin, CC. They were buds. Chloe really never cared much for other dogs and let them know it too, no matter how big they were. CC’s friend Murray would come visit and she wanted nothing to do with him, but don’t let Murray get near her dish or anything that was hers!

Chloe’s dad died four years ago, but she took care of him for two long years. She was sad when he died, but I believe they’re together now. I’m struggling so much with her loss. There’s such an empty feeling now, but I gotta believe that what I did was right. She’s gone in body, but certainly not in our minds and hearts. The day before she passed away, we had our last one on one and I even took her to work with me and all the girls where I work loved seeing her again. I work in rehab for women and they loved her and were so sad. They said she looks so healthy!

We got together the day she died and talked about the time she ran the bases in the ball park with her dad chasing her and everyone laughing, how she’d “glide” out in the yard, so white you could see her doing it, how when naughty I’d put her in the green time out chair, how she talked and said “mama” all the time, and sat and waited for me to come home each day so patiently.

Now she’s not there and I hate to go home. I sleep with a stuffed bichon now and can see it’s black eyes and nose at my face and I feel Chloe and feel it’s her. In the dark it looks just like her. We burn candles and have pictures of her out, her pictures in this website. Thank you for letting me do this and all who’ve responded. I know it’ll be a very long time before I feel whole again, but I know she’s not hurting anymore, but I do and will take it a day at a time.
I miss my Bon, I love you Bonnie and I feel your presence with me. God bless you.


Love always,
Chloe {Little Bon}
18, May 2005
Marsha Carlson