During the course of the last week, I’ve repeated found myself, asking the question..”Why?”
Why is God doing this to us? Why did CJ wander so far? Anyone who has suffered a loss knows that finding answers to these questions is almost impossible.
So instead of continually going down that dead end path, I’ve found myself wandering down a slightly different one. Why did God bless me with the gift of my wonderful girl, CJ?
Now, for those of you who knew CJ, know that CJ wasn’t always wonderful. In fact, there were times, early on, when she was far from that. But those times were some of the most vital reasons why. If not for those times, I likely wouldn’t have really learned how to be a good dog owner. It was during that time, when I learned patience, like I never thought I was capable of possessing. All those time, when she was at her brattiest and I was trying to mold her into what I thought was a good dog, she was, instead, teaching me how to be patient and instead of focusing only on the end result, appreciate the little victories along the way.
She taught me perseverance. The more I tried to put obstacles in her way, like building higher fences to keep her from escaping my yard, the harder she pushed herself to overcome them. Yet even after reaching her goal, she still took the time to stop and appreciate the things that were right there and often taken for granted, like the wonderful scents and smells on the other side of the fence.
She taught me that it’s ok to take pride in your accomplishments. Like the many times when I would return home from work to discover that she had found a bag of chips, or something, which I hadn’t put away, safely. She would greet me at the door, turn and run upstairs to grab her “prize” and bring it to me, dangling from her mouth, uneaten and show me what she done, flicking her strange, curly tail, which was her way of wagging. Or when, after waking up one morning, she greeted me with her “whoo whoo” and started prancing into the living room. When I followed her in there, she, making sure that I was watching, walked over to my computer and with her nose, pushed the button to turn it on, then proceeded to come up to me and sit,
waiting for me to praise her.
She taught me about Joy. How during the course of everyday life, that you could always find room for happiness. Like every morning, it was her “job” to find the kongs for me to stuff for her and Molly, before I left for work. Each morning she looked forward to our “kong hunt” where we would walk around the house to find the kongs from the day before. She would sniff and prance and as soon as she spotted one, would pounce on it, give it to me and keep searching for the next. Or when I took her to agility class and we were doing one of our trials. She was magnificant, watching me intently, between every obstacle, making perfect jumps and flying through tunnels. When we got to the A-Frame, she ran up and over flawlessly. But, that being so much fun, she opted to turn back and do it again instead of proceeding to the next obstacle. Then she proceeded to run, willy nilly, doing all her favorite obstacles, despite my efforts to get her back on course. She finally went back to the A-Frame, ran to the top, stopped and let out the most joyous “whoo whoo”, flicked her tail and “smiled” down at me, was had just about peed my pants in laughter. We didn’t do well in our time trials but she did get an honorable mention
for the happiest dog in the class.
There are so many, many more reasons why God felt that I needed a spirit like CJ in my life and I could go on and on. But maybe, just maybe, as I walk down this slightly different path, I may have found the answer I really am looking for. Maybe God took CJ from me, not because I having nothing more to learn (that’s obvious) but maybe because there is someone else in this world who needs to be taught some lessons that only, a special, silly, wonderfully devoted girl, like Cj can teach.
I miss her terribly but if she can do even half as much for someone else as she has done for me, then I will take comfort in that and find a way to say good-bye and
let her go.
I love you , sweet baby and I’ll try to keep living as you have taught me.
I Will Always Love You,