Felicity,
I named her after that TV character that Emily and I used to watch in Florida. Felicity means happiness and she always did exude happiness and she made everyone happy (except my mom).
We bought Felicity or Fifi from my cousin. I did not choose her because I thought that she was too playful and energetic but my cousin begged us to get her because she’s his favorite and she’s the best puppy in the litter. She’s the prettiest, with her lovely liver and well-placed spots. She’s smart. She’s the perfect Dalmatian.
I used to share my bed with her until she grew too large; she then contented herself with just sleeping on my bedroom floor. When she was this rambunctious puppy, we had this ritual; I would feed her, make her sleep and then play with her till she’s dead tired. That way, she would be too tired to destroy furniture or whatever is inside the house. I trained her basic commands; she got it all the first time I made her do it but was too impatient to do it over again when I command her to. It’s like her way of telling me: ‘Hey, don’t you see it? I got it! I don’t want to do it again and again!”
I diagnosed her to have Attention Deficit and Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) when she cannot stay still for 5 seconds and I could not make her look at me for more than 2 seconds.
She stayed inside the house and it was necessary for me to teach her to void outside or in the bathroom, she tells us when she needs to go out to do her thing. She has this way of telling us what she wants, it may be through her actions or she “talks” to us. I swear, she can talk (not like us, of course, that would be scary!) My mom was furious with all the attention that I was showering Fifi, she told me to make Fifi stay out just like all large dogs should, I told her that Fifi is not used to the conditions outside, she shivers in the slightest whiff of cold air, but mama was too irritating and I have to give in just to have peace in our house.
Even if she was demoted from being a dog of leisure to being a mere guard dog, I still made sure that she’s given the proper food, exercise and attention. Whenever we have new maids, I only instruct them the Do’s and Don’ts of caring for Fifi. The surest way to see me mad is when I see Fifi not properly taken care of. I went home today from our hospital duty and my dad told me that Felicity died. It was hard to believe and it took me some time to look at her body.
I have to make preparations for her burial. I called the Philippine Animal Welfare Society to ask where I can have her buried. It’s a good thing that they have a burial place for pets, I can go visit her anytime. Until now, I’m wishing that this is all just a bad dream.
I cried and I find myself crying still.
The memories of her constantly play inside my mind. I want to blame others for what happened, but she was my responsibility. She expected me to care for her like I always did and I failed her. I am not ashamed to admit that I’m mourning the loss of Fifi. I told my dad that we will not be getting any dogs, that is, until I’m ready to invest my time, effort and emotions in caring for another loyal, dependable and
lovable animal friend.
I’ll miss the grand welcome every time I go home. I’ll miss her barking and “talking”. I’ll miss seeing her run gracefully. I’ll miss my morning lick. I’ll miss hugging her. I’ll miss our silent moments together. I’ll miss patting her head. I’ll miss the wonder and awe I experience every time I see her show-off her talents.
I miss you Fifi.
Thank you for being a good dog.
With love,
| Felicity |
| Tania |