My dearest, sweet Geordie,
It was a year ago today that I had to make that awful decision to let you go. I wasn’t near ready, and it has been so hard to live with my decision. What if?? keeps going through my mind … what if I’d let you have the surgery, would you have survived it, how well would you have recovered? Maybe you would have made it, and I would have had you in my life a little longer. But I can’t know that, so I will always wonder. I just didn’t want you to suffer any more because I was selfish in wanting to keep you with me.
I hope I will see you again so I can ask you to forgive me for that and for all the times I was so impatient with you when you couldn’t help what was happening to you.
I loved you like I’ve loved no one else, and cherished every moment I spent with you. Many times I turned down invitations because I couldn’t take you with me, and I’d rather be with you anyway! That suited both of us just fine (ha!) We were almost joined at the hip, I took you everywhere I could, you followed me at home, from room to room, from back yard to front, etc. Our greatest joy for all those years was just being together.
There are no words to adequately describe our relationship, just as there are no words to pay adequate tribute to you. You’ve been gone a whole year, impossible to believe I managed to survive, and I’m trying to decide which flowers to plant on your grave, but I’d much rather have you here to dig a big hole right there for one of your rawhides!
My prayer is that I will see you again, that God will give you back to me in heaven. Nothing could make me happier. I miss you and will ALWAYS love you. You’re my boy, my little man, and the doggie mama loves.
Sweet dreams,
With all my undying love,
| Geordie |
| 1, May 2005 |
| Shelly Wolf-Lake |