This is about you Gunner — my best friend. When Clifton first told me he had seen you and asked if he could have you my response was “We already have a dog. We don’t need another.” Daddy said “Mom…this is important to him. He may never ask that question again.” So holding Clifton’s hand I walked a few blocks to see you sure I would be able to say no. I fell in love with you at first glance. It took about two days to look at you and know what your name would be…Gunner.
You and I were inseparable. I made up songs of love for you and gave you many nick names. Buffy Reilly you and I would take long walks. All three of you straining to be in the lead…and pulling Mommy’s arms out of their sockets. Remember when I first used the back massager on you and you loved it? You would just lay there forever loving it. How about when you used to let me vacuum you? How about when I used to whisper in your ear “Oh Mister….”?
In 1995 when Dad and I separated the only thing I wanted from the house was you. Dad didn’t feel it was right to separate you three dogs (yes by then we had gotten Reilly). I didn’t see you for a while but slowly as Dad and I became closer he would bring you to visit. In November 2000 the vet thought you had cancer so we went to see an oncologist who couldn’t find anything but scheduled an operation.
Remember December 20 2000 the day before surgery when Mommy was walking you slipped on ice and broke her leg? While in the hospital all I thought of when conscious was how is Gunner doing? Thank God no one could find cancer. How blessed we felt. While Dad and I were separated you grew closer to him. So much in fact that in February 2002 when I moved back home I was saddened that you preferred Dad to me.
Slowly however you and I began to move closer together. Although partially deaf you had just started getting excited enough when I came home to run and greet me at the door. You slept with us — sideways in the bed — and I had to mould around you. Saturday before last I even had to sleep on the couch so as not to disturb you — you looked so comfortable. I loved snuggling with you in bed and you were beginning not to growl at me as much for disturbing you.
Daddy was your world. Where he went you went. We started taking you wherever we went if it wasn’t too hot. You loved riding in the car. It was nothing to see us riding down the street with Dad driving me in the back seat and you in the passenger seat. You loved to ride…and take walks. Daddy was on an ever-so-faithful walking schedule.
You were probably the most-walked dog in the neighborhood. And then on June 1 you were having difficulty breathing. At the emergency hospital you were diagnosed as being in heart failure and in critical condition. Heart failure is a health trait common to Cockapoos but this was news to us — tragic as it turned out. Even though the doctor said it was probably bad we left you overnight knowing everything would be okay. I called for a progress report only to have the doctor say you hadn’t improved. Then close to midnight the doctor called and said you were in poor shape and that perhaps we needed to consider letting you go.
Dad didn’t tell me until 7:30 AM on June 2. I couldn’t believe it. So sudden so unplanned. How could we consider doing this to you? The doctor asked if someone wanted to come over. I couldn’t bear the thought of you being alone so I went to be with you. I gave you a kiss for Dad Brooke Liliana Clifton Nana Kylie and all of our 6 cats…all the while whispering to you even though you couldn’t hear me. Then you slipped away. The time you have been gone is agony. What if I had gotten a second opinion? Would you understand? How could I do this to you?
You were 14 and the doctor said if you lived you would be on medication and that your activity would be severely restricted. What about your beloved walks? You would always be struggling to breathe. My head tells me I did the right thing by having you put down. I wish my heart believed it because it is broken and continuously crying.
I have had you cremated and you my favorite beloved dog will be buried with Dad and me. Dad tells me he believes that our loving God welcomes pets into Heaven. This makes sense as unlike humans animals are sinless self-less loving creatures. In the hopes that this is true I shall live each day of my life differently from now on just on the sheer hope that this is true. Because I couldn’t imagine
spending eternity without you.
We love you Gunner. Give Dad’s and my three babies and Pushinka Wiltmore Miss Kitty Socks Breezy Shadow Buffy and Reilly a lick for us when you see them. Tell them we love them and miss them dreadfully.
But you my love will be missed the most. I hope I can survive without you. Until we can share a ride on a cloud or go for another long stroll goodbye dear beloved Gunner.
“…Time is too slow
for those who grieve…”
Mom and Dad
{Robin & Pat}