Dog: Black Flat-coated Retriever
DOB: April 4th, 2000, Kamloops, BC
DOD: March 9th, 2007, Kamloops, BC
Sire: Parkburn Lord Jet
Dam: Fieldancers A Bit of Class
Int. Cnd Champion Fieldancers But I’m A Hunter
To My Beloved Jet,
Jet, you are my beautiful black puppy that I raised so carefully, thinking you were the prince to the throne of your father, MBIS AM/CND Ch. Parkburn Lord Jet. Your father was a lot to live up to, but you also had your titles.
Remember that you won 3 days in a row over your 1/2 brother who is the top Cnd Flat-coated Retriever for 2007, 2000 & 2001.
As a pup, you were so independent, not needing hugging or cuddling. My memories of you, coming home and shaking all the way in the vehicle–boy you weren’t lion-hearted at all.
That night you cried and cried b/c you missed your mom, gramma Nightsky and litter mates. Our hearts hurt for you for missing your family.
Then I remember our first swim lesson at Lac Le Jeune. You came in the water, but got frightened and scrambled to stand between my legs, shivering.
Later you grew up to became a brave and strong swimmer. Do you remember the time that you found a t-bone in the bushes all covered in dirt and sand…I phoned your breeder to tell her that you washed your bone in the river. I learned that your grammn nightsky she did that as well.
Though independent, you had your ways, like sitting at the bottom of the stair case, looking up waiting to be carried. You wouldn’t budge.
Then you got your ear caught on the barb of a fence, and when you saw me, you went from calm to frightened and pulled and pulled and ripped your ear.
I was so frightened for you as a 4-month old pup. But from that day forward, your were my baby for ever and ever.
You made us proud in the ring, even when you jumped up on the judges. You were a silly pup.
Remember the first time that you saw snow, and you wouldn’t leave the truck and your daddy had to help you. We took such a teasing from you.
I remember coming to your kennel spot at the competition and taking you out and letting you lay your head on my lap to sleep. I let you be comfortable.
So many times when you were a pup, I sang to you whispering go to sleep my baby, shuuushhh. go to sleep. I know that you were comforted. I did that for you on your last moments when you got worried.
Always, you were so regal, and dignified. Many people saw that in you and commented on your beauty. That is why you won competitions.
What I remember is your eyes. They were emotional eyes and I seemed to understand them, much more than the other two dogs.
Looking–always looking at me. Always loving me as if I was the only human being on earth.
Waiting for me at the door, or following me or always moving as soon as I got up and having an 80lb dog on my heel, in the bath, on the bed, on the couch.
I looked forward to coming home to you all the time. You were the son I never had.
I thought I had a lot of time left with you. It was such a shock that you fell ill on Jan 18th. You were standing over me, on my bed, and I didn’t know what was wrong, but by 5am it was time to go to the vet. Weeks went by and I was told you had anemia, but it wasn’t the answer, and I pushed and went to 3 vets, seen 7 veterinarians. Finally Dr. Buist came up with histiocytic cancer.
Jet-I had been reading, and I knew what that meant. It was immediately fatal, with no treatment options. But I would not just let you go without fighting for you. I waged a medical war from my love with your cancer.
We got you back from the brink twice. On those days, you wanted to see and smell the world. I was shocked at your determination, even though you could not walk. Its was so different seeing you see the world from different eyes. You wanted to savor it all. Smelling this, and that. Its like you knew you did not have much time.
I don’t know what happened on March 8th, but I hope it was the cancer, not a fall, or trip as I should have taken you either to work or to the vet.
But coming home and seeing you standing by that tree, on 3 legs, I just about lost it. I had already been screaming out your name. You heard me but couldn’t come. We carried you in.
Took you to the vet, and got morphine for the pain. What a hard night you had. It was the 8th day of your chemo, lomutin, and they felt the next morning you were suffering. I knew you could not be touched. I managed to bring down your fever of 105 by icing you down. But still your leg hurt.
At the vet, I lay with you in that room for 4 hours, loving you, crying, reading, but never telling you that you were going home to rest. I couldn’t tell you that this was our last day together. I might have been a coward, but people say that they tell their dogs and that they understand. Hell no… You would have looked at me and wanted me to take you home and make you better. You had that much faith. Thank you for believing in me and my love for you.
I left there, and they did it, and I screamed into your pillow, Don’t kill my dog I don’t want him to die. It was the only true thoughts I had. They were stopping your life and I was losing you and you were leaving me forever.
Jet I did not want to ever do that. People at the vet already felt I had put you through too much. But i know, I saw those days of wellbeing and enjoyment in you. My heart broke and I just screamed.
Even now, I cannot believe you are gone. You are my companion in everything. I watched you grow, mature, and go away. I cannot stand the agony I feel.
Jet, know that I love you. That to be merciful was right, but I don’t feel wrong, and I could have taken you home for some more days.
Forgive me! I took away your thoughts, likes, wishes, desires, and your breathe and life. All you wanted from me was to save you and I let you down.
I know I left when they were going to inject you, because I would have stopped it. I think you panicked when I left you were wondering where I went. But–Jet–my baby boy, you were in my heart and on my mind, and I don’t know if you know how much I hated me for this but I want you to forgive me.
Don’t wander around in heaven looking for me–I feel you are trying to find me. Come back and be by my side spiritually. I would love that very much. Always know you momma is always at home, remembering you all the time.
Thank you for those sweet kisses. You knew what it meant when I said “Kiss Mommy”.
Thank you for the complete body cuddles, and sometime waking up so snuggly and keeping me warm.
I will always remember you and how you would run into the water, lay down, and toss your head under the water and go back and forth. You are beautiful in every way Jet. You are my son, and I love you.
This is one time, I beg that it be true that we will be together again. I honestly do.
Love from your mommy,
Diana