Nicky by Andrea Sirianni / Mommy

The pillow where you slept on my bed,
The hair left behind on the window shelf,
The crumbs around your dish from the last meal you ate…

Are now open wounds for me.
Painful reminders that you were just here;
And now you are gone forever.

Too difficult to look at them-
Too difficult to take them away.
I am trapped in this place of grief.

I want you back so badly,
but I want you as you were before;
healthy and happy, not in discomfort.

Yet what I wouldn’t give to take care of you again;
I would gladly hand feed you,
I would carry you to the window.

I wanted to ease your discomfort and
let you go with dignity and in peace.
But the price I pay is a heavy heart.

Heavy with guilt and sorrow,
And a deep longing to see you again.
There is a hole inside of me that
only time can fill with memories instead of pain.

I know I will see you again some day;
and we will spend forever together,
healthy and whole again.

 

I love you & miss you, my best buddy.