Petie by Nicki / Nicki


I love you so much, and I am so sad not to have you with me anymore. When I found out that you had cancer I didn’t know what I would do. I am so sorry that we had to put you to sleep less than 2 months after that. I hope it was the right thing to do, but I have all these feelings of guilt for doing it. I always took care of you and I don’t think you would ever expect me to do that to you. I miss you so much. I wish so much that I could go back, that I could hold you again. Look into your loving eyes.

You were always there for me and I will never forget you. The night you died I woke up as I did every night when you would wake me up to be let out. Only you weren’t there, and I felt such an emptiness. I keep thinking of how good you were right before we put you to sleep. You just sat there and let them do it, while looking around nervously, waiting for me to pick you back up and take you home.
You didn’t know it was the end.

We spent 17 years together. 17 years that no one can take away. You were always there for me no matter what. Even when no one else was. You didn’t care what I said, or what I looked like. All you cared about was that I loved you. You loved for me to rub the back of your hind legs. I knew you better than I have ever known anyone. I could tell what you were thinking just by watching you. The way you would watch people walk up to you and wait for them to pet you. And when they walked by, I would come to pet you instead so that you wouldn’t be disappointed.

Tuna fish was your favorite food. I hope you liked your last can of tuna on you last day. People think I am silly for loving you so much. You were “only a cat” they say. But to me you were my other half. I miss you so much and wish I could go back. It’s not fair that you had to get cancer. You were so healthy for your age and could have lived many more years. I expected to spend a lot more time with you. I never expected you to get cancer.

One thing I didn’t do was take you for granted. I always made sure to tell you how much I loved you and let it be known to you, and all. You were my baby. I carried you around with me everywhere. I preferred a night with you at home,
rather than a night out with friends, any day.

Petie, I hope and wish so much that there is an afterlife. That we will be together again some day. I can’t imagine never seeing you again. You were such a big part of my life. Please don’t be mad that we put you to sleep. I didn’t know what else to do, and I am so sorry. I loved you so much. I hope so much that you are with Mittens. Tell him I love him too, and miss him, and can’t wait till the day we can all be together again. I am so sorry and I wish I hadn’t put you to sleep, but at the same time, I know your condition would have just gotton worse and worse. But I love you so much, and miss you sooo much. So much that even words can’t say how much. Please know that.

I wish there were a way you could send me a message to let me know you can hear me. That our bond is still strong. I will hold you in my heart for ever and ever and
will never let you go. I love you Petie, always.


I Love You Always,
23, May 2003