Sadie by Lee-Ann Coston

Sadie,

I wish time hadn’t been so cruel to you. I wish that
it hadn’t taken your hearing, your eye sight, and the
essence of what made you ‘Sadie, Sadie, little lady’.
Watching the cruel hands of old age slowly strip you
of life was difficult for your family to witness. We
can only imagine the suffering you went through those
times you separated yourself from us, not wanting us
to witness your death. But, you came back to us time
after time; each time, a little less alive, a little
more of another world. How long should we have allowed
you to decend into that other world before we aided
you? Did we choose the right time? How much longer
would we have had with you had we not made the
decision to end your suffering? Another two years
maybe? And what sort of living would you have
eventually decended to?

Oh, Mrs. Doo, old age took everything from you little
by little! I remember how you used to get so excited
when we would dance and sing “Sadie going bye bye”
before we’d leave on a trip. I remember how you used
to run outside and be the first one in the vehicle,
calling dibs on the lap of whoever was in the front
seat. I remember how you thought Slim Jims were dog
food and would stare at any human eating them as if to
say, “hey, are you a freak or something?” I remember
how adorable you were when you’d cock your head in
that special way when we asked you unfamiliar
questions like “Sadie, doogaley doo,
do you wanna do
dishes?”

Oh, Sadie, I will never forget the way you were, but
that wasn’t the way you were in the end at all!
Laying around, scared, distancing yourself from all of
us . . . old, tired, and confused. You were not
unhealthy but not healthy either . . . still alive but
not really living, hardly existing at all. Still, how
I wish you were here! I wish we had been more
selfish, even though I know it’s wrong. I wish I
could hold you. I can still smell you in certain
places of the house, and it kills me to know that in
time those smells will vanish.

Sadie, our beloved 14 year old cocker spaniel, you
died painlessly in the arms of your beloved Matt
Daddy, his encouraging words the last you would have
heard if age hadn’t taken your hearing. We know
you’re still here; you’re just here in our hearts
instead of physically here. You live on in our
memories, as you play gleefully, dancing to “Sadie
going bye bye” in your new world and keeping an eye
out for freaks eating Slim Jims. Keep watching,
Sadie, for some day we will all be reunited, and you
will be healthy forever more.

Rest in peace,
The Coston Family