Oct. 1998 —- June 16 2001
Cat
I don’t remember Smilly’s first breath.
I wasn’t there and in fact his mother was the only one there to remember it.
Smilly and Stinky adopted me a single busy professional when I stepped
out my door to pick up my newspaper.
How could these small stray kittens get to my upstairs apartment?
Magic hopping legs propelled them to the second story
and into my life.
It is difficult to write this now as Smilly left us only a few hours ago.
Through tear filled eyes I type.
Oh dear friend you went so fast this Saturday morning.
I feel bad that I didn’t take you straight to the doctor but I thought
you would recover. You didn’t recover and although I don’t remember
your first breath I will never forget your last exhale.
Smilly I will miss how you had an almost defiant look on
your face when
I wanted to get close to you to rub or stroke you.
You always wanted your solitude so you walked away.
Then later when I was quietly asleep in bed you would
snuggle into my body to wake we.
You would gently paw my side until I began to stroke
you head and body.
I loved how you purred for me and I delighted in keeping
this gentle sound going as long as possible.
This loving moment was on your terms.
This morning you weren’t purring when I woke up and found
you in the bathroom. Your breaths were labored and I was afraid.
I knew something terrible was happening but I felt that if I stroked your
head and body and got you warm you would recover.
Sure I should have taken you to the doctor Friday but I thought
you would be all right.
You look at me with pain and sadness.
You want my pity; you got it babe. What else can I do to comfort you?
I covered you with a towel and stroked your head and body.
Your body is so lifeless. There are no complaints of my rubbing you or
moving you or picking you up. You have no strength for this.
Oh what can I do for you dear Smilly?
You stare at me with longing eyes and I know what you are saying,
“Let go of me if you love me. It is time for me to go.”
Oh how hard “parting is such sweet sorrow.”
You wanted me to let go and that is what I did and am still doing.
You exhaled your last breath just like they do in the movies,
and you are gone.
I check on your lifeless body but your spirit is gone now.
I pray to God to bring you back to life like Lazarus but you are gone.
God help me to recover and sleep some this morning before
taking care of the burial later today.
Good-bye Dear Smilly. Friend forever.
Good-bye a thousand times until we meet again in heaven’s
happiness Good-bye.
Stinky and I will try to go on without you.
We will miss your friendship.
We will go on until we meet again.
I don’t remember Smilly’s first breath
but I will always remember his last good-bye.
Chris
| Smilly |