The knock on the door 13 years ago never could have prepared me for the bundle of joy that would become my “Spirit Man”…a black tuxedo cat who had never known the warmth of a home or a full bowl of food…in fact, when he arrived he did not even know how to purr. You could tell he had never played because when we pulled a string or tossed a ball he would just look at us as if to say “huh”???
He brought joy and boundless love to my home and 3 other cats and 2 dogs. The dogs grew to love Spirit even though he would give their tails a good chase every now and then! He bonded well with my oldest male, Squirt who has since gone to the bride.
The night before my wedding Spirit threw up, I did not think much of it at the time except he didn’t move when I cleaned it up. For the next 1/2 hour or so he didn’t move so I went to him and coaxed him over…and oh the blood. It was pouring from underneath him. I cleaned him up and put him on pillows on my bed. He was panting and
I thought he was in a mild shock.
The wounds appeared superficial so I decided to wait till morning to take him to the vet…he never made it. I woke up every 2 hours to check on him, his panting did not cease and he tried to crawl into the litter box and lay down. I wouldn’t let him so he wound up on the floor next to it. I heard a couple horrible yowls from him around 4am….I prayed to God to take him if it would ease his pain…next thing
I knew he was gone….forever.
I cry as I write this because I feel that I killed him. If only I had called the vet that night, perhaps I could’ve ended his suffering. I do not believe I could have saved him, just prevented undue suffering.
I will NEVER forgive myself for not calling the vet. I wish I had known how bad he was, but cats hide pain so well that I just didn’t know until it was too late….
Please Spirit, forgive me…I loved you with all my heart and I let you down. I am so sorry….You keep Squirt company at the Bridge till I can get there to hug you both again…
I will love you forever...
| Spirit |
| 16, May 2003 |
| Sue |