March 12 1996 —- Feb. 2000
Silky
Ah Chu,
I met you at the pet shop which was located at Mongkok.
I remembered that you were not there in this shop.
Before I wanted to leave a man held you here. The first
time I looked at you you are so small.
You had beautiful black hairs on your body a few of white hairs
at the top of your head and golden hairs at your legs.
I liked you so much at first sight so I bought you and took you to my
home and we lived together. Although my mum was a little angry when
I brought you home she accepted to take care of you later.
Beside my mum do you remembered my sister Bonnie and my brothers?
They all loved you very much. When you came to my home you brought
much fun to ours. When you was a little boy you was so smart.
You were very clever; you learned things fast after
we teached you. However you was so naughty you always bit us.
However I thought that your naughty behavior was my fault.
I remembered that after you bit my mum my brother and me
we always hit you very much. I thought that it was one of the reasons that made
you so nervous. You were barking so loud when you heard a little noise.
Under the advice of the physician I tried to gave the pills to you and hoped
to control your temper. Unfortunately there was no improvement after
you took the drugs.
Because of the housing estate didn’t allow us to have a pet there
were a lot of complaints to us mainly they complaint about your noise.
Therefore I had no choice but to buy the control baking leather for you to wear.
I am very very sorry for you I had to do that. Also because of the above reason
I didn’t take you out of my home. You just stayed in our home only.
I put you in the bag before I went to have a haircut.
You didn’t jog with me except one or two times.
Last year my housing estate manager issued the letter to me which told
me that I must take you leave away from our home otherwise they might
sue me after one month. I remembered that this letter was issued at April 99.
At that time you had gotten another unfortunate thing you had broken your
leg when you jumped from my chest. I have planned a trip after few day later.
I was very worried you would never walked normally like before.
I took you to a consult physician. They said that you must have an operation.
However there were no instruments for an operation in this clinic and
also the booking was full. I thought that it was important for you to have an
operation as soon as possible therefore I told my situation to the assistant.
He was very nice and arranged for you to go to the Mongkok clinic to have
an operation. Thank God you could take an operation before I went to Taiwan.
After the surgery you looked so poor. I was very hurt. Thanks to my mum and
Ah On they took care of you after I went to Taiwan.
After I got back from Taiwan the physician off the stitches off your leg and
you became healthy again. At this time I also made a decision.
I couldn’t separate from you. Therefore I rented a home which was located in
Ho Man Tin and we lived together with you. At that time I thought that we
would be together forever. Unfortunately the unlucky thing came
to you again. One night I found you were twitching and in convulsions.
You looked so hard to breath and were incontinent. After we consulted the physician
you must took the anti-convulsion drug regularly.
You didn’t have any improvement after taking the drugs.
At late Jan 2000 before I dined out with my friends I sprayed some insect
spray at my windows. After I came back to home at 2330 I found you were
unconscious lying on the floor. I called the physician immediately.
I brought you to the clinic to wait for the physician.
I was very sorry for you that I only thought your being unconscious was only to due
to your past history – convulsions I didn’t remember that your being unconscious
probably was related to aspiration of the insect drugs.
Therefore the physician treated you as convulsions. After this time I found that
you have lost your sight. You had no improvement after the treatment.
You had to have a fluid drip to maintain your life. Because there were no
people to care of you after your admission you only stayed in the gate
to take a rest. Therefore I took you to our home to take care of you.
After I came back home I remembered the insects drugs.
Next morning I took you to the clinic again but I knew that it was too
late to do anything. The physician only added some adrenaline to the fluid.
I took you to our home and brought the gate for you to sleep.
I was very sad and you also looked so serious and weak.
Although I went to work I cam back home to see you during
my lunchtime and dinnertime. After two days later the drip was out
and I took you to the clinic. The physician setup another one but I found it was out of
function after we arrived at home. So I came to the clinic again but
the physician said that he didn’t have time to set another one.
I was very angry for his behavior. I took you to see another clinic
The physician at this clinic put you on your drip and told me to try
to feed you by mouth. He also told me that you probably have
a tumor at your brain. This tumor might make pressure to the
nerve which made you blind.
Due to your illness and blindness you lost appetite and were upset.
It was difficult for me to feed you. I tried to feed you some fluid diet
through the syringe. I was so glad to see you ate some of them.
After one week later your general condition was improved and you could
walked again. I knew that you felt afraid you couldn’t see anything.
I was very hurt. I tried to help you learned the new style of your life.
I kept our home originally. Took you to the place where you ate slept
passed urine and bowel. I brought the new toys which have sounds you
could identify and hear them. Do you remembered ha ha siu sight ka ball etc?
At late Feb 2000 your convulsions became more serious although you took
anti-convulsion drugs regularly. At 28 Feb you were twitching frequently.
You looked to me before you started the convulsions. I felt hurt to see you;
you wanted to tell me that you was so painful and to leave this world.
You wanted me to relieve your pain. At 29 Feb 2000 morning your convulsions
still occurred. You looked so nervous and unhelpful.
Therefore I decided to let you go. Ah Chu I am very very sorry for this decision.
I don’t know it was right or wrong. I feel guilty for you everyday after you died.
I missed you and remembered all things belongs to us.
I say goodnight and kiss your photo before sleep.
I still keep all the things which belongs to you your clothes your cushion,
your toys your washing towel your comb … I filed all your photos.
Ah Chu I can’t sleep well and cried everynight after you died.
Ah Chu I will miss you forever you are my best son and friend forever.
Good-bye love you forever.
With love – Mummy.
| Ah Chu |