July 15 1998 —-Oct. 1999
Cat
In Mid July of 1998 my whole life changed.
My cat Callie had kittens. When we found them at probably just a few
hours old they were in this hole in the creek and we all knew that if a storm came
the kittens would drown. After begging and pleading at 1 A.M. the next morning
we went outside and mom climbed into the hole to get the kittens out.
Finally we had them all safe and sound in a box in the garage.
And within seconds I fell in love. There were four kittens.
One was orange one a cream striped one gray striped but my heart went out
to the little black cat. That first night my parents both informed me not to be
upset if she died because she was so tiny and frail.
But this little kitten beat the odds. Each day I’d start my day by going
outside,and picking them up and playing with them.
Although I loved them all I always gave the little black kitten the most attention.
It didn’t take long for us to come up with perfect names for the cats.
The orange one looked like a little lion so we named him Simba the cream one
ate a lot and was fat so we called him Butterball the gray one well,
he just looked like a JoJo and the little black kitten reminded me of the panther
in the Jungle Book so she became Bagara.
It took me a few weeks to get my parents to agree to let me keep Bagara.
And finally I succeeded in keeping Jo and my grandparents took
Butterball and Simba. But that’s another story.
Bagara became my pride and joy. I lived for going outside and holding
her in my lap laughing as she hissed at my sister and ran.
At Christmas that year we let the cats come in and play.
My parents have this little village under the tree and Bagara would
always try eating the little plastic trees.
We always laughed and I called her Catzilla. Each time I was upset,
I’d run outside and find solace in my black kitten’s fur.
She’d just nuzzle up against me and meow and I think it was her
way of saying “Don’t cry everything’s gonna be all right and I love you.”
I don’t know how many times I went crying to her.
Sometimes at night I’d let my dog out and she’d be sitting at the
back door and I’d let her come in and sleep with me.
She soon earned alot of nicknames but I always called her Princess Gara.
I don’t know why. She hated everyone and we’d call her possessed
because of the way she acted. Then one day my little ball of fluff didn’t meet
me at the back door. I shrugged it off and went to get ready for school
although in my heart I knew something wasn’t right.
When I got home that day I went outside and called and called and finally
my mom made me go out driving. When we came back I saw this black ball
of fur across the road and I some how knew that it was her.
I turned to my mom tears already in my eyes. I couldn’t bear to go and
see her there. I ran up to the house and nearly fell down the
stairs because the tears were so blinding.
I locked myself in my room and I got out this old picture of her.
I remember holding it up against my chest and rocking back and forth
on the bed I just kept crying “No God please let me have my baby.
Don’t take her from me.” But God didn’t answer my prayer.
My baby was gone.
It’s been nearly 6 months since I told her good-bye and every time I
walk out the backdoor I kind of expect to hear her loud meow to see
her walking by the camper.
And sometimes I do see her when I imagine things as they were.
But I know things will never be the same. My life changed with her death.
When I read this poem I realized that it sounds like something she would say,
had she ever been able to talk. It was wrote by an unknown author but it
captures her spirit so perfectly. Each time I read it it brings fresh tears it makes
me realize she’s not gone and she never will be she’s always in my heart.
When I arrive in heaven the first thing I want to hear is her meow and
the first thing I want to see is her baby face.
I know she’s not gone and definitely not forgotten. She’s in everything.
And everywhere I look around my house and yard there are reminders of her.
They’ll never fade and her love will go on and on.
Everyone says that you have a guardian angel. Well mine is Bagara.
But she was and still is more than that.
She’s my best friend. Forever and always.
Don’t Grieve Too Long
Don’t grieve too long for now I’m free,
I’ve followed the path God set for me.
I ran to Him when I heard his call
I swished my tail and left it all.
I could not stay another day
To meow to love to romp and play
Games left unplayed must stay that way
I found such peace it made my day.
My parting has left you with a void
Please fill it with remembered joy
A friendship shared your laugh a kiss
Oh yes these things I too shall miss.
Be not burdened with times of sorrow
I wish you the sunshine of tomorrow.
My life’s been full you’ve given so much
Your time your love and gentle touch.
Perhaps my time seemed all too brief
Don’t lengthen it with undue grief
Lift up your head and share with me
God wanted me He set me free!!!
I still miss her and I always will but she’s in Heaven waiting for me
like the angel she always was and I hope this story brings you some comfort.
I miss my baby and I always will but if you’re true friends
you’ll meet again.
Jodi
| Bagara |