In 1984 on the afternoon of May 29th I was waiting “my turn” for my three-month check-up by my Oncologist. Trying not to look at the other people in the
waiting room who like me have or had cancer I silently slipped a copy
of GUIDEPOSTS MAGAZINE from my purse.
The monthly column His Mysterious Ways caught my eye and I read quickly
the short story of a gal who prayed for a specific sign of a single red rose before
she was to have emergency kidney surgery. It touched me deeply and I said
to myself “Hey God that’s neat! How about doing something like that just for ME?”
I did not have much time to think about it as my name was called and I jumped up,
heart pounding mouth dry following the nurse to an examining room.
On February 4 1982 I awoke from breast biopsy surgery and learned that my
right breast had been removed along with a block of lymph nodes.
The surgeon informed me that all the cancer was removed.
“Thank You God it’s GREAT to be alive!” A few days later I was told that two
lymph nodes were “positive” and thus I was to undergo one year (12 cycles) of
Chemotherapy and 24 Radiation treatments. I cried and cried but I walked on
through this dark valley of deep depression not feeling well not being able to
concentrate losing my hair and feeling “yucky” most of the time.
My God my husband Bob my family my neighbors and friends all walked with me.
Our Samoyed Teddy was my constant companion offering his heavy white
paw in comfort and sympathy. Teddy and I attended Advanced Obedience
Training practiced daily and graduated. Also cheering me on and keeping
me busy were the children teachers and staff at Saint John Lutheran Day School
Niles where I was employed as Parish Secretary. During this period of time,
treatments did end my hair grew back thicker than ever my concentration
and energy started to return and my love and appreciation for life had been
enhanced beyond words!
As time continues to put more distance between me and this dark valley in my life
I tend to not think about it. However I am reminded of the fine line between trying
to forget and getting what cancer survivors call the “cancer crazies” whenever
it is time for another check-up test scan X-ray or whatever.
This particular afternoon in May 1984 my Oncologist tells me that it is time for
a “routine” bone scan. “Routine,” he says “You know what a thorough guy I am!”
Sure I know him very well by now and I trust him through my tears and fears,
making the necessary appointment for the bonescan as soon as possible just to
get it over with and get on with my life
The next morning a friend from Church drove me to and from the hospital for the
necessary injection four hours before the scan was scheduled.
My faithful friend Irene talks on and on about many things attempting to break
through my tension. She told me how her youngest son Russell came home
with a little puppy in his arms. She had known that their dog “Boots” sired a
litter in the neighborhood but was more surprised when Russ came home
carrying a squirming pup in his arms. Knowing Russell as I do I could just imagine
him standing there telling his folks “But gee he’s Boots’ son and we just have
to keep him.” all the while displaying a huge Cheshire grin.
At lunch I told my husband about the Russ’ new puppy and how they named
him “Duke” after Irene’s favorite movie star John Wayne.
We laughed about it and talked about the puppies a lot. As we drove back to
the hospital Bob said “Why don’t you think about the puppies while waiting for
the scan to be over? Think about how it would be if one of them came to live with us.”
Well it takes about an hour of lying still with this huge hunk of machinery grinding
back-and-forth above your body so I had a LOT of time to think!
It was fun and my imagination kept me occupied and relaxed.
On our way home Bob decided that I might enjoy visiting Duke and Boots.
While there we learned that there were still a few puppies left. We looked at each
other and then walked across the street to see the puppies. The remaining four were
on a back porch 3 girls and a boy. We had talked previously about how nice it
would be for Teddy to have a little buddy. As I picked up the little brown and black fuzzy
puppy I said “We’ll take this one.”
I looked up at my husband my friend and her son -and they were all grinning!
THIS WAS MY “SIGN” THAT ALL WOULD BE WELL……AND SO IT WAS!
We named him Barney Google. Eventually he became affectionately known as
“Barney The Goog.” Teddy loved his new little “brother” and I was relaxed
and at peace ~ a peace which only God can give ~ and what a gift!
The bone scan was clear except for a cracked rib which was healing.
I had probably cracked it coughing or playing volleyball. It really doesn’t matter
because I had Barney now to remind me of God’s gift of peace to ME every day.
” Teddy “
Dec. 6 1980 —- Jan. 14 1992
A Shared Bond with
Loving Memories!
| Barney |