” WE GET TOO CLOSE TO OUR ANIMALS”
by
Laura Cartwright (Edited for Forum )
Laura and Merril Cartwright own Chris-Cliff Farm —
They are both retired educators; Merril is a farmer (semi-retired)
and Laura does freelance writing.
My husband and I admit it !
We get far too close to our animals — cats dogs horses.
They get to be a part of our family. Our whole family is like that.
I guess my daughter Christi and I got closer to our cats; while my husband
and son Merril and Cliff seemed to have grown close to the dogs.
But with every pet we ever had it was the same way.
And when our animals die we grieve.
When the children were small not only did we grieve we had funerals.
Under the trees in the back yard or rather over the fence in the
pasture. Back then there was even a “service” – songs prayers a few
words – the whole bit! And lots of tears from all of us.
Some folks would think this is silly but that’s the way our family dealt
with our grief.
When our cat Sam died it was Laura that grieved the most. I had quit work
for a while the children were growing up and had their own lives and
Merril was awfully busy – so ‘old’ Sam became my constant companion.
He watched me as I worked and even helped me study when I went
back to school — taking college courses.
When Sam died it was one of my sadder moments.
Then there was Hot Rod; a white long-haired poodle. Hot Rod became a
part of the family when our children started going away to school.
They had their own new friends and we were getting ready for our
’empty-nest’ years. So in stepped Hot Rod to take the place of the
children we no longer had under our roof.
The kids could look after themselves now and I suppose my husband
and I needed to feel really wanted!
When Hot Rod died Merril vowed to never have another pet.
He said it was just too hard on him to see him leave our nest — for good.
And we both grieved.
Merril really hadn’t intended to raise another pet. But a little dog
with no particular lineage just appeared and showed him love at a time
when he particularly needed extra attention. Merril had recently retired
and I guess he really wasn’t ready. He missed students the school and
all the things he had been doing over the years. Buddy saved his life!
He filled in the vacant spots in his heart and soul that he needed so badly.
So Buddy entered our lives and took up a special place on our back porch
and in our hearts. Merril often said that Buddy gave him “unconditional love,”
which I don’t believe exists quite the same way between human beings.
We humans have a tendency to always expect something in return. Buddy didn’t.
Buddy loved Merril that’s true. But he loved me as well. We were a
family so Buddy easily recognized that he was part of a team.
Both my husband and I have walked for years – at least since we retired.
And Buddy of course walked with us. Note I said us.
Buddy insisted we all walk together. If only one of us went for a walk there
was no Buddy to be seen. Our walks happened first thing in the morning
and most mornings he’d be standing at the front door waiting. Or if I
clapped my hands (which meant “walking time” to Buddy) he’d come running
– but Buddy went along only if we were both there. If I walked alone
he waited for Merril. If Merril started before me he waited for me.
This was a family thing and that was the way it
had to be. I used to tease Merril and tell him that he couldn’t run me
off because Buddy wouldn’t let him!
And so our lives and our walks continued until about six months ago.
Buddy started getting too frail to walk. Then he began to develop other problems.
The autumn of his life became clear to us as the problems multiplied.
On July 22 1998 we buried Buddy beside Hot Rod. We had no special
services — but both children made sure their Dad knew they loved him and
they were thinking about him. It is still a family thing at our house.
They all grew up knowing that ‘the animals’ were as important to us as
any other member of our family.
It’s a lesson the world could benefit from learning.
August 8 1998.
| Buddy |