A dog one day came to live with me.
Never did I see her coming.
She just turned up for me.
I think that God placed her here,
To be my special friend.
Because he knew that I would need her,
A lot before the end.
When kids at school would tease me,
As often they all did,
I’d come home and find here there,
Waiting for me, looking,
With that bright-eyed, starry stare.
I would sometimes feel alone,
But never really was,
Because she would be there to talk to me.
She spoke to me in her own words,
Which only I could hear.
And now I’m looking for unsighted comfort,
To forget that she’s not here.
After 13 or 14 years of loyalty,
Her love was put to trial,
And that wonderful St. Bernard,
Stood brilliantly to the test.
A dog had come straight for me,
With teeth and back hair shown,
But my loyal, loving, old, good friend,
Was there once again for me.
A fight so quick,
A fight over me,
Was done before I knew.
My dog had saved me once again,
And survived without a scratch.
For two more years,
My friend did well.
Nothing was wrong –
Or so we could tell.
She did fine,
Until she fell.
She would not eat,
But she would throw up.
And when she’d drink,
It would come back up.
The vet just said that it was age,
And though I loved her greatly,
And though I loved her as my friend,
I knew that her time was drawing,
To a final end.
So X-Rays were finally done,
And so was my time with that old one.
Cancer showed all in the chest,
Surrounding the heart that loved me.
I was then told,
There by the vet,
The dog had given it to her with just one bite.
The dog that fought two years ago,
Had given my friend a trial,
That could not be overruled.
The cancer was too far ahead,
And had too good a grip.
I knew right then,
What I must do,
I had to let my dear friend go –
Or what her suffer slow.
And if her fate not lay in needles,
It was lay with starvation.
The largest two tumors were one either side,
Pushing her stomach on either side.
And if I did not stand that test,
By saving her bad pain,
I would watch my dear friend suffer,
And come to an unruly end.
I had to end her suffering pain,
Or least she would just live on in vain.
And so one more time I told her I loved her,
And ran fast from the room,
Unable to hold my dying friend.
The shock, though expected, came all too fast,
The end came way too soon.
I could not stand to watch her go still,
And have the starring eyes go dark.
I could not touch that beautiful face,
When no tongue came out for my hand or face.
I could not hug that wonderful body,
When no heart would I feel:
The heart, soul, and body that I loved,
Would not beat with her love for me.
It was done,
And all to fast,
My friend came to an end.
Leaving me with memories
That were not enough for me.
So taking back the collar and leash,
And crying out my eyes,
I whispered to her nametag very quietly.
I said:
“Dear friend, I loved you then.
And I will love you now.
But for now we must be separated.
For how long, I can not tell.
But don’t despair,
Just promise me to be there,
When my life comes to an end.
I know that you will be waiting there,
As my ever faithful friend.”
When asked why I chose for her to die,
I, crying, answered back:
“It would have happened anyway,
So why bring unearned pain?
I loved her in the life we had,
And I love her spirit and her memory.
Many times her love for me,
Was put forward to be tested.
And my love that day was tested too,
And I think that I did win:
For I loved that dog more than anyone,
Because I was strong enough to love her,
And strong enough to say good bye,
And do what was right for her.”
| Crystal Ann Camps |