It has been 8 month since Charlie has been gone from my life. The day that he passed still plays over and over in my head. I always ask the same questions, “what could I have done differently?” “What if I would have came home from work early like I had planned?” I had no clue that God was planning on taking my baby away from me that day. He was fine in the morning when I left for work. He ate breakfast with me and watched me do my makeup. Just like any other day. At 1:30 is when my life suddenly stopped. I came home from work and there was Charlie on the floor of my room. Unable to use his back legs.
The vet told me that he had suffered from blood clotting in his legs, pretty much a stroke. Then they told me there was nothing they could do. So I decided to put him to sleep. I promised him his whole life that when it was time for him to go, I would never leave him in pain no matter how hard it would be for me. The thing I remember the most about that day is how Charlie took care of me even though he was in pain.
On the way to the vet while I lay with him in the back seat crying, he just started into my eyes. He put his paw on my face like he always did, and started to lick my tears away. He had been licking my tears away since I was 4 years old till I was 20 years old. Now I am without my best friend. It feels like my whole heart is gone. I feel like I can not move on. Like everything has stopped. All I feel is pain and emptiness. I always say, When his pain ended mine began.
I just keep holding on to the thought that someday we will be together again. I will cross rainbow bridge with him, never to be parted again. Charlie if you hear me talking to you at night like I always do, I love you so much and I wish I could somehow bring you back. You are the first person I want to see when my time comes. I will always love you and I will be seeing you again.
All my love,
| Michelle L |