Brandi,
It’s been one year to the day since you left us and sometimes I still can’t believe you are gone. I miss you every day. I miss the way you followed me all around the house. You were my shadow and sometimes I still expect to see you lying in the hallway waiting for me to get out of the shower. I miss you greeting me at the door when I walk in after work.
I still remember the panic I felt on those very few occasions when you didn’t! I always thought the worst! But then you would mosey on out and look at me like what’s the big fuss! I miss you sleeping at the end of the bed and taking up all of the room. I’d sleep in all kinds of weird positions just to make you comfortable. How Vinnie would laugh at me. Cinder sleeps on the bed now and even though theres much more room, she like you has to be “on” me somehow.
I think she knows how much I miss you. She misses you too and was terribly depressed after you died. Vinnie misses you too but he tries not to show it all the time, unlike me who still cries just thinking about you. Putting you to sleep was the absolute worst day of my life! How I agonized over the decision! I hope you understood that we didn’t want you to suffer and I pray that you found comfort in us being with you at the end. There was no way I was going to let you leave this world alone or with just doctors around.
I couldn’t stop thanking you for being the best dog for 12 years, or telling you how much I loved you. You had a seizure the night before and were having trouble breathing and I just owed you too much to let you suffer. It was such a shock how quickly things happened. We thought you had a little cough and found out it was a horrible case of lung cancer. We had no idea, you never showed any signs. Ten days later you had a seizure in bed and we put you too sleep the next day. Everything happened so fast I still can’t believe it sometimes. I still wonder if we did it too soon but I know in my heart no amount of time would have been enough.
I kept thinking that you had no idea what was going on. You always acted fine and had a great appetite even on that last day. You ate breakfast and we gave you tons of treats and a nice big old pigs ear! We made an imprint of your paw on that last day and even though Vinnie thought I was weird he is very glad now that I did. I could go on forever about how much I miss and love you, but I know that nothing will ever bring you back to me.
As much as I miss having a dog in the house I’m still not ready to get another one. One day I will be able to open up my heart again but it is still too soon. Please know that you will never be replaced and it will always be different. You were my first baby girl boo-boo and
for that I am grateful.
Thank you again for loving me and being such an important part of my life for 12 beautiful years. Wait for me at the the bridge boo- I love you forever. I hope your hanging out with Shasta, Pashy,Mr. Tux and Whitey and I can’t wait to see you all again.
LOVE FOREVER,
| Rosemary & Vincent Adamo |