The story of my own little bunny is hard for me to tell. Cloud died yesterday, May 18, 2005, which is a day I won’t ever forget. I remember just like it was a minute ago when I was a little kid, just 10 years old, when my two older brothers were going college. I was going to be the last one left in the house, alone for most of the day, so my parents though it best to buy me a pet. I had always wanted a rabbit when I was a toddler and so I chose an adorable little Himalayan Dwarf bunny, all white as snow with little cute bulging red eyes.
I had her for no more than a few weeks before I couldn’t go anywhere without her. When I slept I’d take her with me, when I’d eat, I’d share my food with her. Because I never really had many friends as a child, actually.. I didn’t have any friends at all, she really was the only one for me who I could bond together. Since I was a child, I wasn’t really experienced with petcare at the time, so I knew sometimes I did things that were probably unknowingly painful or unwise to her.
But after awhile, I started to understand and truly bond together on all levels with Cloud. I always remembered, with humor, over the first month I had her, when I saw her little white furred ears, paws, and tail gradually turn to black fur, and little tufts of golden fur
from the base of her long little ears.
I remember now with fondness that we would always share bananas together, since she always loved bananas a whole lot. But then there was that one fateful day. I had decided to give her a bath one night. I made doubly sure the water wasn’t too hot or too cold, but just right; I used her favorite shampoo on her, and she lay down on her belly while I washed her back and her ears that she scratched here and there. I dried her out carefully, but all of a sudden she started losing bowel control and I noticed she kept falling asleep uncontrollably. I thought it was just because she was tired, so I put her back into her cage. The next morning I went to get some bedding and some treats and vitamins for her and when I came back, she was laying on her side as if she was taking a little nap, but I knew deep inside that she wouldn’t ever be waking up.
I knew there was something wrong even before I fell asleep the night before; it was like I could feel it in my heart that something wasn’t right. I grieved right there at her cage and brought her out. Her age of 10 1/12 years was showing as there was little muscle left and I could feel her spine right through her soft delightful fur.
I looked at her and the first thing I remember saying was, “Oh, Cloud..” I had kept thinking for those first few moments that she would suddenly just spring out of my arms and say, “Don’t touch me! I want to run around!” But I knew, from my experience as a scientist, that just wasn’t going to happen. Her ears were cold and her eyes,
though open, were glazed.
I would always remember her eyes. She would always look at me with those soft red eyes as if asking for a treat or begging me to play with her or to sleep with her tightly. Up to now, I don’t know if it was because of the bath, or because of her old age. I dug her own grave in my backyard with my own hands, and I placed her into the hole. I told her, “You were my best friend ever, and you were my only friend.
I’m sorry if I had ever not taken good care of you at some point and I hope you aren’t angry with me somehow. I will miss you and I’ll always love you very much.” So I had buried her and that was that. I had kept a small white crystal I had found from her gravesite and a lock of her fur. Some people would probably just say, “You can always buy another pet.” But it’s not that easy at all. Anyone who says such a thing doesn’t understand themselves in any way.
Cloud was my best friend and my only true friend.
I could tell her anything and she would always just sit and listen. It really is just like losing a person close to you. I miss her right now as I’m thinking of her, and I’ll always miss her. She was my first pet, a true friend, and my only friend. It was a privilege to take care of her from her young baby bunny years, to her elder rabbit years. I’ll miss her very much. Thank you Cloud for everything.
Missing you,
| Cloud |
| Jerry |