On a warm summer day
back in ’99
For a scaly companion
I did pine.

I meandered up to the
nearest pet store;
Over thousands of goldfish
I did pore
When all of a sudden
with a splish and a flop
A beautiful goldfish
into my palm did drop!

“Good Madam,” she cooed
in a voice thick with water
“You are my mistress
I shall have no other!”
And so it began
I took her home
(Oh Daphne the grooviest fish
I ever did own!)

When I placed her
in her new home-to-be
She cried “How dull!
Put up photos of Capri!”
When I bought her two snails
for her company
She gobbled them up
like crackers and cheese!

I told her my woes and my secrets.
She’d smile
And teach me etiquette and
fashion and style.
But in the second year
her gills started to labor
Her eyes were cloudy
her scales like paper.

The fishtank grew dark
with algae and gunk
And one New Year’s Day
she was dead as a skunk.

So here (to the toilet)
I have brought her
Daphne my friend
In the New Jersey sewer
she shall meet her end.

Goodbye dearest Daphne
may your soul be blessed
May flights of angelfish
bring thee to thy rest!