Dr. Cool Beans by Susan Woods / Missy


I sit here empty, sad, angry and crying my eyes out every night. I don’t know why you had to leave me so soon. Why did you have to be in that road when that car came, why did that car have to be going so fast… it should have been able to stop for you?. Why did it have to be you? Not that I would want it to be another, but WHY YOU? I sit here searching for the perfect song but I am not sure if there is one. The Dance comes to mind…as I wouldn’t have wanted to miss our dance. We had this special bond before you were even born. I would pet your mommy’s tummy and you would immediately try to stretch out as if to say
you really liked me doing that.

Then the night she gave birth to you, she had you in the middle of the hall rug in front of Abby’s room. I picked you up and put you in the box I had made for when your Mom was ready to give birth.
I held you every chance I could get.

You comforted me when I was sick all fall and after my surgery. We slept on the couch with you right beside me under the covers. Then you began moving around…but you would always want to come to sleep with me when you were done playing.

When you were old enough, you came to bed with me and ’til the very end every night you would come into the bathroom wait for me to get jammatized and follow me to the bedroom. You couldn’t wait to kiss me and lay beside me so that I could pet your fur all over. You loved me petting you…I loved petting you. I loved every moment that we had together. I never thought that you would leave me so soon…I wasn’t ready for you to leave…why…why…did you go?

Abby doesn’t quite understand this whole deal..she is still young. I tell her it is okay for her to cry…she tells me that she misses you and asks me if I miss you…you just can’t imagine how much I do. I keep thinking that you are going to come through the kitchen window and jump up on the couch and give me a kiss…flomp your body down on my chest, find my hands and keep nudging them until I pet you where you want me to. You are sooo unbelievably missed..I would give
anything to turn back time.

I hope you are safe and happy where you are. I will take a furby to your grave and put it with you (as soon as I find where you hid one). Some day, we will be together and for that I can’t wait but until then I hope that you know how very much I/we love you and miss you.
You were the ULTIMATE to me.


Love Always and Forever,
Dr. Cool Beans
Susan Woods