Dustin
February 14, 1986 – December 23, 2002
My precious little Dustin, there are not enough words nor space here to list all the ways you touched my life. You came into my life unexpectedly when my mom and sister bought you, as a house warming present for me, for one dollar at a yard sale. You were only 6 weeks old and cute as you could be. You fit right in with Sinbad, my Golden Retriever I received as a puppy for my 8th birthday. He was 13 years old when you came along and you drove him
crazy with your puppy antics.
As a puppy you slept between the top of my head and the wall and would of continued to do that forever if you hadn’t eventually grown too big to fit up there so you had to move to the other end of the bed. Two short years later I lost Sinbad to liver failure and was so grateful that you were there for me. You became my rock, my shadow, and my shoulder to cry on. You became my best friend. From that day forward it was always just you and I.
We were inseparable.
There are so many silly things you did that made me laugh. The little dance you did on the porch each day, after you would raced me there from the gate when I came home from work. They way you would have to be the first one in the door so you could run in and grab your birdie then run back to meet me coming through the door, as if to say “wanna play”. The way you would bite me with your front teeth and it would hurt like the dickens when we would rough house together. The way you would roll on your back and bicycle pedal with your back legs in the air whenever I would say “Where’s the Bat Boy”. You even taught your Rottweiler friend Breezy this trick. What a sight you two made trying to out do each other.
Oh how you hated to be cuddled, but if asked “Where’s my kisses?” would always give me one. You never liked cameras and would always run and hide if you saw one, which made it really difficult to ever get any good pictures of you. I just loved the way you cherished your little stuffed yellow parrot (Birdie). Even after 8 years of playing with it, after it had lost all its legs and wings and was nothing more than a yellow body it was still your favorite toy. You were so funny when I would tell you “kill it, kill the birdie”…you would growl, and shake it back and forth, and act so ferocious, you were so cute, I couldn’t help but laugh at you. You would always sit so patiently each time I had to sew something back on, so worried that I wasn’t going to be able to repair it. Eventually all that held it together was the thread I had mended it with. I bought you a ton of toys to try and replace birdie but none were ever as special to you as birdie was. I still have what is left of birdie. I never could bring myself to throw it away, it was so much a part of you.
I miss your cute, fuzzy “Mr. Magoo” eyes peeking over the edge of the bed in the morning to see if I was awake yet and the way you would get on the bed and make a nest to wallow in when I wasn’t home and then you would jump off like you were never up there when you heard me coming through the door. (As if I wasn’t going to notice you had been sleeping up there…silly you)
I have so many memories that I will always cherish of you, all of our car trips we took together. You went everywhere with me, until it became physically too hard on you to get in and out of the car. I always felt so bad that you could not go with me anymore. I knew how much you enjoyed it, and know you probably didn’t understand why I stopped taking you. I loved the way you always patiently waited until I got to the last bite of my food before you would beg, and then it would be just the tiniest whimper, you were very hard to say no too.
One of the tricks I taught you was to “speak” in a whisper because we lived in a duplex and I didn’t want to upset the neighbors. I would tell you “just a little one” and you would make the tiniest whisper bark. You were so smart. One of your favorite pastimes was hunting for lizards and for days after you caught and killed one you would keep taking me to “see it” again and again until it finally decayed. You were so proud of yourself. You were my brave hunter. But my most cherished memory of you will always be the way you reach over the seat and rest your head on my shoulder when you were riding in the back seat of the Honda.
I have your leather “boots” I made for you so that you could run in the field and not get stickers stuck in the pads of your feet. (I’m sorry they were purple but you didn’t seem to mind) and how if you did get a sticker you would just stand there holding your foot up waiting for me to notice, then come and remove it for you. I loved the way you totally trusted me and would hang your front feet over the raft when we would go to the Colorado River and you would just completely relax and float with me. You knew I would never
let anything happen to you.
When you were 14 we cheated death my friend, when a cancerous tumor attacked your spleen I had to take you to the emergency vet office because it was Saturday and your vet was closed. The vet on duty suggested just putting you down. I choose instead to take you home and wait until Monday when we could see your usual vet. It was a risk, and the emergency vet said you would probably not make it until Monday and if your spleen did ruptured you would bleed to death. That scared me, but I’m so glad I trusted my instincts and that you held on.
Your vet Nancy knew you were a fighter, so she operated and removed your spleen and the tumor. You came through the surgery with flying colors but you had to stay with the vet for 3 days to heal. Those were the hardest 3 days we ever had together because we had never been apart. Each day I came to visit you but then I had to leave you there again and it was almost more than I could bear. You had a look on your face as if you were wondering what you did wrong. I’m so sorry boy, I know you didn’t understand.
Finally Nancy called and told me to come and get you because you needed to go home for “emotional reasons”. You were not going to get better without me…you wouldn’t eat or anything. Once I got you home, you were up and about in no time at all. That surgery bought you 3 more wonderful years. I always considered it a gift from god…I think he knew how much I needed you.
Eventually time caught up with us and at almost 17 years old it became obvious that your body just wasn’t going to cooperate with you anymore. Everything was starting to become hard for you, and that was hard for me to accept. I knew this time there would be no surgery, no magic, not even a miracle that could help you. As painful as it was I knew in my heart the time had come for me to let you go. I held you in my arms and told you how much I loved you and the vet set you free. I think you knew because on the way to the vet you barked and barked and that wasn’t like you, it just broke my heart. Oh, how I cried Dustin….I have never loved like I love you, and I’ve never felt as empty as I do now because such a huge piece of me went with you to heaven.
I know you are safe now, and free of pain. I know you are with Sinbad. I also know you are with me because I have captured your spirit on film in pictures I took the next day of both the places you loved to sleep. Stay with Sinbad dear friend and wait for me and one day we will all cross Rainbow Bridge together. Forever my love and a part of my life
Rest easy sweet Dustin..