Holly by Jeanne Bozenhard / Jeanne

When my Holly died I felt such a dreadful sense of pain and loss. For the first time in my life I found myself alone and lost. I wanted to die too. She had been my life for so long that I couldn’t fathom a future without her. Holly has been my life for 11 years and I chose that. I wouldn’t have had it any other way. She made me feel like I had a purpose. She needed me like no other human did. I needed her too. Her unconditional love was more then I could ask for.

Every single corner of my home had a reminder of Holly. Her favorite futon where she would curl up and sleep, her stuffed grunting animals, Holly’s favorite was her giraffe, and her dog bed that went on the floor alongside my bed. I’d say “time for nite nite” and she’d run to the living room and grab her cookie or pigs ear and place it on her bed.

When I’m out on my own, I feel that a part of me is missing, because she was always there, my constant companion.

Having Holly put to sleep was the most traumatic experience of my life. After it was done I felt like I betrayed her. But then the other part of me knew it was the best decision for Holly because she was sick and what Holly had was incurable.

Holly had the greatest personality and brightest eyes you ever saw. The black outline around her eyes was so perfect that I use to laugh saying. I myself can’t wear eyeliner anymore because Holly’s always looked better then mine.

Holly was so smart I believe she knew what I was going to do before I did. When we went for walks and we were getting close to a light post or stick in the ground. I’d say go around and she would! I have to say I miss our walks the most.

Holly lived for the snow! She would push her nose deep inside the snow. Then lift her head up really quick and her whole face would be covered! She’d always give a couple barks because she loved it so.

She was a very vocal girl. She loved to talk. She always greeted her special friends with a few barks. But, I always knew if she wasn’t feeling well then she was quiet.

Holly had her yearly vet check up on June 4th of 2007 I had asked my vet to do an extra blood test because I noticed her drinking more water then usual and thought something was wrong. Well, the blood test showed that my Holly had kidney disease. So, she had to go on special prescription food called hills k/d canned and dry. Lots of meds too. She had a very poor appetite, was dropping weight like crazy. Also vomiting what little she did eat. One day her eyes looked at me as if to say “Mommy I’m tired”. So, I made the hardest decision to put her down. I just didn’t want my pretty girl to suffer. My Holly was always a lady and I wanted her to passed with dignity and no pain. She gave me the best 11 years of my life.


Jeanne Bozenhard