26 May 2002 6.40pm the day and time Lady gained her
freedom from the twice daily dosage of insulin.
Lady a black Dachshund she was about 13 years old when she left us.
We do not know the exact date of birth as she was dragged from
underneath a pickup truck near my parent’s home.
Someone who responded to our lost pet notice had informed us that a
black dog was seen hiding under a trunk.
She was covered in engine oil when I pulled her trembling body
out from darkness. Though we didn’t intentionally want to keep her
she naturally became a part of our family very soon as she got to adjust
to our lifestyle and we came to accept her in the family.
I did not pay much attention to her in the first couple of years
and often take her for granted.
About 8 years back she had a really nasty cut under her right eye
and both my sister and me had to diligently clean up her wound
daily for 6 months.
It was during this period that we developed stronger relationship
and bonding with her as we witnessed how strong and sensible she
was as she quietly let us cleaned up her open wound
(a painful process) and fed her with her medication.
In the following years she was warded in the animal hospital multiple
times for tooth extraction and cyst removals.
Never has she once rejected her medication and expressed
her suffering and pain. At 2001 year end she was unfortunately
diagnosed with Diabetics. We took extra care in watching her diet
and in giving her 2 dosages of insulin a day.
Until today I still cannot bring myself to give her the injection and
it is all thanks to my Maid Tini and my sister for helping me out.
As we shuttled her to and fro the Animal Hospital beginning
of this year to work out the balance level of the insulin quantity to
her diet she was responding well when we finally worked out the
combination around early March.
Since then she no longer had to be caged up in the hospital due
to monitoring and was able to live her usual routine life at home.
I often made it a point to be home just to see her and to make sure she
is fine doing the typical things she does like waging her
strong little tail anxiously waiting for her dinner to be prepared,
tailing me whenever she wants a little pat and hug.
Every day without fail she would make it a point to welcome you
at the doorway (unless it is dinner time she will be in the kitchen mostly)
and could give her little acknowledgment by touching her
cold little nose on your ankle.
When I was down she would come to me and just lied around
my feet to tell me I have got her.
She had taught me how important it is to treasure and appreciate all
my loved ones when they are still around me and how to live
my life without regrets.
In the wee-hour of 26 May morning my sister called and informed me
that Lady is suffering from continuous seizure.
I rushed over and saw that she was lying on her favourite towel
as she let out soft moan. As I squatted next to her she wagged
her tail a little and I sensed she knew I was near her.
We quickly brought her to the animal hospital thinking that this
was just another usual fit due to low glucose level.
After the initial diagnosis the news was not good and we were told
that her brain could be affected due to the continuous fit that may have
deprived her brain from oxygen.
We could only hope the seizure was reversible.
At 2.15pm the hospital called and informed that she was sound asleep.
When we next received a call from them at 2.45pm we were told her
condition is not stable and we should pay her a visit soon.
My sister and I rushed down to see that she was wrapped up in
many layers of clothes as her temperature has gone down.
She was awake but not responding to us.
We were told these were signs that her brain could be affected and she
could be in a coma state. At 4.30pm the nurse removed the clothes
and checked her body temperature she was having a fever.
The vet told us that the body was unable to adjust itself to the right
temperature and she may not made it through the night.
Both our hearts collapsed.
Eventually my sister seeked my opinion to give her euthanasia to
free her from the suffering and possible pain.
The initial thought was unbearable and was simply unacceptable.
As I cried and looked at her weak body attempting to catch
each of her breath I gave my consensus and informed my other
sister to quickly come over.
While awaiting at around 6.30pm with myself and my sister
by her side she stopped breathing.
I cried hysterically and the vet rushed over the revived her
her heart was still beating weakly though her breathing has stopped.
My sister told them not to attempt to revive her and to give her
the injection to free her from the suffering.
I requested to carry her in my arms one last time before
the procedure begun. She seemed to choke a little when I lifted up
her head to tell her how much I will miss her and
how much I love her.
Thereafter the injection was given to her and she left us
after 1 min at 6.40pm.
The pain is tremendous as I feel a strong sense of guilt
not knowing if I have done the right thing.
Was the decision really to end her suffering or was it to end my
own selfish suffering?
I will not know the answer only God knows and I hope he will
give me the answer soon.
We miss you Lady and you will always have a very special place
in our hearts and we thank you for being such a
great companion for the past 12 years.
Forever miss by all who loves you.
Lin Fen
She will be cremated at 3pm on 29 June 2002.
| Lady |
| Lin Fen |