Roc by Dawn and Damian / Mommy

I remember the day I first saw you, you were so small, not the giant that you would later become. I would put you into the pocket of my big terry cloth robe and you would sit in there so still and content. Everywhere I went, you would go also and we liked it that way.

You were so smart and learned everything so quickly; I never had a problem with you going potty in places you shouldn’t or chewing things that weren’t yours to chew. When you were about a year old, I called the people that I bought you from and thanked them. I felt kind of silly doing that, but you were so special I had to let them know.

You grew up under my feet at the office and I picked up your baby teeth off of the office floor. Remember Dinosaur? He was your first squeaky toy and you sure loved him. We had to stop buying you Dinosaurs after a while because you would step on them to find the squeakers and go straight for the kill. Dinosaurs didn’t last very long. So I found you a tire – a big, used car tire with the tread still in good shape. You would pick that big old tire up and put it over your neck and walk around like it was a diamond necklace.

A better ball-sniffer-outer than you there has never been. And the water, oh how you loved the water. Your favorite games in the world were all about attacking the water. You used to splash the water with your paw and make bubbles, which of course must be attacked! You found yourself out in the middle of the lake one day when you just kept splashing and attacking and chasing the bubbles you made further and further out. I remember the time you dove into the fish pond after the koi fish that my mother was so proud of.

I have so many, many wonderful memories of you I could go on forever. There was the time the vet checked your cholesterol and told me that I was feeding you way too many McDonald’s cheeseburgers – so we started eating at Arby’s instead. That was the same day we learned you had hip dysplasia, you were almost two. I was going to abort the puppies you were carrying if the vet told me that it would be dangerous for you to have them. You were the best mommy, I was so proud. I will continue to take care of Kitty for you. She is my new shadow and I love her, but she isn’t you.

Thank you for taking care of me for all those years; there weren’t nearly enough. I miss you checking the house throughout the night and keeping watch over us all. I even miss your stubborness, I think that was your specialty!

Most of all, I miss that place behind your ear where I would bury my face and cry when things got tough. You were my best friend. After I held you while we said goodbye and you slipped away, I wanted you more than ever. You were always the one to comfort me and then when I was hurting worse than ever before and needed you most, I didn’t have you.

I hated to let you go. I still hate it and I hate the cancer that took you from me. I knew that it was time to say goodbye the day before when we went to the beach. You were so happy to be there but you could only play your game with the seafoam for a few minutes before it was too much for you.

I love you, Roc. I will always long for you and you will always be my only Roc Star. I wish that I could just put you back into my pocket…


Forever Yours,
Dawn and Damian