Twenty four years ago, an angel in the tiny body of a cocker spaniel came to stay with me. Samantha was a gift from my ex-husband for our first Christmas. She was this tiny, trembling body of golden fluff and after one look into her eyes, I was lost forever. The very first thing she did when I held her that first time was to give me a kiss, the first of many. She saw me through the heartbreak of a miscarriage and a divorce. To this day, the memory of holding her in my arms and crying into her fur is the only really clear memory I have of that time. She would curl up beside me with her head on my neck, occasionally giving me a kiss for comfort.
Unfortunately our time together was way too short. She had a lot of health problems all of her life. I didn’t realise until afterwards she was the product of a puppy mill breeder who was only in it for the money. When she was 7 weeks old, she almost died from an intestinal infection. 10 short years later it would be the damage to her intestines from the infection that would take her away from me.
By the time she was 6, she was blind from cataracts, but even that didn’t slow her down much. She’d use the sound of my voice to find me where ever I was. At the age of 7, she had to have major surgery when her small intestines twisted. The vet had to remove almost 1/3 of the small intestine. With a lot of love and care she bounced back, but seemed frailer than before. On her 10th birthday she seemed so much stronger, but a short 2 months later I knew we were in trouble. There were several bouts of diarrhea that left her weak. Just before Halloween, it became obvious her time was short. There were several panicked trips to the vet, fluids and medication that made a difference for a while. Then that first week in November, she seemed to stablize and grow a little stronger. My vet was amazed she was still holding on. On the evening of November 4, though she began to have trouble standing and finally couldn’t walk at all. I spent the entire night holding her in my arms, telling her I was going to make it better.
The morning of November 5, I had already made the decision it was time to let my baby go. I took her outside one last time and we sat in the grass together for a while. Then we left for the vets. This wonderful man took us into his office and left us there for a while. When he returned to see if I was ready it was obvious it was time. I held that beautiful face in my hands one last time, kissed her and told her it was time. She focused on me for the last time and gave me one last kiss. It was like she had been waiting for something that had finally happened and she just let go. I think she didn’t want me to have to be the one to send her on her way so she left quietly, with the same gentle dignity she had lived her entire life with.
I still have no memory of how I made it home or of burying her in the lilly bed where she loved to lay. It was days before I could even cry and then it seemed like once I started, I couldn’t stop. I hated coming home from work, I hated getting up in the morning and most of all, I hated being home when she wasn’t there.
A couple of weeks after her death I knew getting another cocker wasn’t only what I wanted, it was what I needed. I started making notes of breeders and looking for that “perfect” puppy. What I didn’t know at the time was my best friend had reached the same conclusion for me. A mutual friend had a pair that had just had puppies. She contacted him even though the puppies were only a couple of days old. Her goal was to give me the puppy for Christmas. She saw Cassie when she was just a couple of days old, and told me later she knew somehow the minute she saw her, that that was my puppy.
Shirley got permission to bring Cassie to our office party on December 21. She borrowed one of the pediatric wagons, tied a big red bow around her neck and brought her into the room in the wagon. There was one of those dramatic hushes you read about as she put her into my arms. We were both crying so hard I’m surprised we could even see her! I don’t think there was a dry eye in the entire place and everyone kept coming in to meet her.
A couple of days later, her breeder came by to see how she was doing. We got to talking and I told him about Samantha. When I mentioned the date and time of her death, he stopped dead in his tracks. That’s when he told me Cassie’s mother had gone into labor early that morning and exactly 12 hours after Samantha’s death, Cassie was born. She was the last puppy to come and they were beginning to think they were going to have deliver her by c-section.
We just happened to be in the back yard because I was trying to get Cassie to go potty. I lost sight of her for a few minutes and when I found her, she was curled up on Samantha’s grave, sound asleep. When I picked her up. she looked up at me with those beautiful brown eyes and gave me a kiss. At that moment I felt as though a great circle had completed and I knew the reason Samantha had held on so long was because she wanted to make sure Cassie had arrived. Every year at this time, I say goodbye to my sweet Samantha and thank her for sending me Cassie.
I love you always, baby....
| Samantha Jane |
| Diane McLaughlin |