Shara My old friend of nearly 18 years has gone and there is a
yawning chasm in my heart that will be hard to fill.
I bought her in a pet shop for $20 all those years ago as a gift for
my then 9 yr old son. A cheeky little Kelpie(breed),
From the beginning she was “special” played with the kids all day
and at night go fishing with Dad and sit on the beach with him in the
middle of winter both of us just looking out to sea and the stars.
If it rained she still defied me and came along always next to me ,
me kitted out in wet gear her just sitting ears back ringing wet
and never thinking of heading home with out me.
And smart as a pin she could climb ladders close doors
even say “hello” on request in a very gutteral doggy
noise to the amusement of our friends.
As the kids grew up and became teenagers I became her closest pal
as I worked from home it was her spot either under my feet or
behind my chair in the office.
As we live on a canal she spent weekends with the family swimming
and sometimes at night in the moonlight you could see her herding
baitfish on the waters edge or running inside the house to tell me that
my fishing rod had a fish on and the ratchet was going.
As she got older arthritis started to slow her down and she didn’t go
swimming anymore but still watched from the warmth of the doorway.
Towards the end It was sad to see her fall over and then struggle to get up
even though I told her to stay and I wouldn’t be long.
If I left the room she still defied me and had to keep me in sight.
The night before she left us I carried her to her little bed on the floor next
to my bed and I looked at her thin body and glazed eyes
and whispered ” Brown dog you have to let me know ,
I don’t have the courage to do what I knew has to be done.”
I closed my eyes and snuggled her close then put her too bed.
Because she had a ritual of getting up at 5.30 and going outside
I wasn’t surprised when I heard her bump through the
door that early morning.
1 hour later my wife woke me to say the old dog wasn’t home….
we searched we rang every vet the pound Dog Refuges in the chance
that she had hurt herself and been taken there.
It was not to be a door knock in the neighbourhood revealed
the sad story.
She must have wandered to close the edge of the canal her weak
old legs couldn’t react fast enough and she fell in the people who told
me this story said they were awoken by their dog barking
and went to look.
At first they just thought it was a dog going for a swim at an unearthly hour.
When they realized she was struggling they tried to launch their dinghy
their neighbour was getting out his surf ski but tragically
my old brown dog couldn’t fight any longer she gave in ,
and slipped below the water.
Today is the third day I have motored through all the canals the marina
and yacht basin hoping to find her body so I can bring this to a closure.
Even my children who are in their mid twenties and 12000 miles away on the
other side of the earth are distressed at the news.
My son tries to be stoic and my daughter wants to come home
to help look.:)
Their friends have emailed them to say how they will miss
“old Brown Dog” who seemed to be around forever.
Tomorrow I will go out again and maybe the following day.
After that I must accept that she is gone and make my peace accordingly.
Maybe the trade was 2 dog life spans in return for this ending
I do not know.
I do now I will bounce back never forget my Pal to my dying day.
I have lost both parents and 2 of my brothers and this grief is as
real and painful as any.
If one was to believe in Omens or Karma then I can take some comfort
for despite the fact I will never know her final resting place
3 odd things happened.
Today a parakeet flew into the house thru the door I always left open for her,
I opened the window it calmly looked at me then hopped to the
window and soared away.
Secondly the day she died our local council planted a young sapling
on out footpath as part of a beautification program.
And thirdly a friend rang and said “you know that a Kelpie
besides being a breed of Australian working Dog is also a mythical
Scottish creature of legend don’t you you know what it means?”
“What does it mean” I said and and he replied
” A Kelpie in Scotland is a Water Spirit and lives in the deep.”
This somehow comforted me.
I will lean on these things in the days to come to help me
rationalize my loss.
Tomorrow I will go out in my boat and search once again.
I will probably never find her but my old friend who now sleeps in the deep
will be warmed by the memories of those 18 years and the
love I will carry in my heart to my last breath.
Ross
| Shara |
| Ross |