I found Sophie when she was only a week old. I picked her out of all the other puppies because of the white ring she had around her nose and because she was a pinto color. Sophie and I faced many health issues but we always survived them and she always became stronger and healthier. Her and I formed a special bond during her health issues..and she trusted me with her life. She always knew if I was there that she was protected and loved.
In January Sophie started having problems walking. The Vet felt it was due to arthritis and put her on rymadyl. She then started having nose bleeds. I had the Vet come to the house and draw blood and run x-rays of her nose. All was normal. In fact her lab values were the best they had ever been. But..Sophie continued having problems. I finally asked the Vet to run a tick born panel on Sophie. Even though she had frontline on year round a tick had bitten her and the test came back positive. I thought YES..now we have something we can treat and my baby girl will get better.
Sophie was started on Doxycycline but even with the medicine she continued to decline. Finally she could not walk and because of her pain she would not allow me to lift her. So…I did what all moms do that love their children. I made the living room hers. It was covered with egg crate mattress and blankets and finally with blue pads to make keeping her clean and comfortable easier for her and for me.
The Vet told me she had talked to another vet and that we could give her a shot of Imocarbe which would help with the virus. I prayed hard that April first for God to guide me in making again..the right decision for Sophie.
The Vet came out and told me the dose of the two shots she was going to give to Sophie. I thought it sounded like an awful lot so I asked her three times to check the amount. I told her I did not want to lose my baby girl due to a medical mistake.
I had worked to hard to keep Sophie happy and clean to lose her because of a mistake. The Vet assured me it was the correct amount. I held Sophie while she administered the two injections. An hour later Sophie started becoming very ill. The next day I drove to the Vets to talk to her about how ill Sophie was. She gave me some Reglan to help with her nausea and stomach upset. Sophie continued to decline. By Monday she could hardly hold her head up and could not keep anything down. I called the Vet and asked her to end Sophies suffering.
In my grief I started looking for answers. You see..Sophie was my light, and my heart. She trusted me to do what was always the best for her. I called the Vet to ask her how many mg was in the injections she gave to Sophie…after a pause..she looked at the bottle and said OH MY GOD…I am so Sorry. She had given Sophie four times the amount she needed. Sophie could not have survived the side affects from the over dose.
I have forgiven the Vet. I can not forgive myself. So in Sophies memory I tell all Pet owners to follow their heart and their gut feelings. I should have stopped the Vet from giving Sophie those shots. I knew it was to much. I had a horrible feeling about that medicine. I failed my baby girl. So in memory of my Sophie Marie…if you feel something is not right…do not allow the Vet to do it. Follow your heart and your gut instinct. If I had followed mine Sophie might still be here with me.
I am sorry baby girl. You are my heart and my soul and I have not stopped grieving for you. Each day more tears are shed and each day my life feels so empty without you here. When I draw my last breath, greet me at heavens door. If you are not there…I can not enter. Heaven would not be heaven without you. I will love you forever…and until we see each other again…sleep softly on Gods clouds and await my coming home. I love you baby girl…..
Sophie….If I could I would search the heavens and reach through the stars and bring you home again.
I will miss you forever.
My spirit is with you always..I love you baby girl...
| Sophie Marie |
| 4, Apr 2005 |
| Pat...Sophies mom |