Angel Baby

Feb. 26 1992 —– Nov. 30 2001

Dog

My beautiful and most loved dog Angel Baby was killed in an accident

while I was away on a trip.

I returned from Europe only three days ago and

couldn’t wait to get to my friends house

to pick her up and take her home.

When I arrived at Deb’s house my best friend who always watched her for me –

(as I did her dog when she was away) after traveling all day

I was surprised to see so many cars in her driveway

at a rather late hour for her.

It was raining out and I remember running into her house

with a big smile on my face – saying

“you better not have my dog out in this rain”.

As I rounded the corner into her kitchen,

I saw a number of friends standing in a big circle.

I took one look at Deb and knew something was terribly wrong.

My first thought was something had happened to one of her children.

No one was saying anything and a feeling of

immense sadness permeated the room.

As I looked at each one of my friends

I could see a look of anguish on all of their faces.

“What happened”? I asked – thinking maybe

something terrible had occurred to someone we all knew

in the area where we live.

“Where’s Angel Baby”? was my next question.

Then all I remember is someone telling me

I had better sit down because something horrible

had happened and it began to dawn on me

they were about to tell me something I couldn’t bear to hear.

My beautiful dog – my constant companion and best friend

had been struck my a truck and

instantly killed the day after I left for my trip.

I burst into tears and cried out “no no no that’s impossible” and

began walking around her house.

I couldn’t take it in.

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.

There was no way this could happen.

She was trained to move away from cars – to stay away from them.

We went on two mile walks every day.

We live in the country and she was never leashed.

She was trained to “ditch” and “sit” until a car or truck passed.

She was so intelligent she would know better.

I still cannot figure out what happened.

Deb said that she had gotten up at 4 that morning to finish

some real estate work on the computer.

She told me that when she got out of bed –

Angel Baby was laying next to her and Hunter her dog

was at the end of the bed.

She turned on a light and laughed

because Angel had found one of her bed pillows and

had her head laying on it like a person.

She said Angel opened her eyes and looked at her like

“why are you getting up at this ungodly hour” and

neither dog made a move to follow her.

So she just turned out the light and let them sleep some more.

Around six o’clock they both came bounding out of her bedroom and

started nudging her to be let outside.

It was still dark and it was raining.

She let them out into her front yard which is bordered

by a busy highway –

but it was still too early for much traffic.

Angel never went by the road.

Deb has a good-sized yard and

Angel would always stay close to the house.

A few minutes later Deb went to call them back inside.

She said it was extraordinarily dark because of the rain.

It was after she opened the door and called them

that she saw a big truck barreling down

the highway coming in her direction.

She couldn’t believe how fast the truck was traveling and

screamed for the dogs to come to her.

She saw Hunter but she couldn’t see Angel.

The truck was getting closer by the second and

she called Angel again and then she heard a thump.

She went running out to the road in her bare feet and pajamas and

saw my dog laying still by her driveway.

She ran over to her and shook her and called her name over and over again.

There was no response – but also

there was no blood so she thought maybe Angel was just unconscious.

She ran into the house and yelled for her daughter

to call the vet and ran back outside.

Her daughter followed her and knelt by her and said

“mom Angel Baby is gone”.

I know my friend was almost as shocked by this as I was.

She didn’t know what to do.

She didn’t know if she should call me in Europe to tell me

what had happened or wait.

So many friends rallied around her while I was gone and now for me as well.

They all made a group decision to not call and

they had Angel Baby put on ice at my vet

until I could see her when I got back. Every decision they made was the right one.

I came home to the second biggest shock of my life.

I have been crying almost every moment of every day since I found out.

Angel Baby was more than a dog – she was literally more human.

She thought she was human anyway.

She had little tolerance for most dogs always preferring to be with people.

She loved babies children and every adult she met –

even those who didn’t like dogs –

and thought everyone loved her back.

I own a store in a resort area and from the first moment

we found each other – she took over the place.

She has gone to work with me almost every day for ten years.

She has an immense following of people who adore her.

In the summer when we’re the most busy

there are literally ten to twenty people

who come in looking for her on a daily basis.

Once they met her people always came back

looking for my Angel Baby year after year.

Angel was a big girl.

Part Newfoundland part Golden Retriever.

She looked like a long haired black Golden.

She had the temperament of these two wonderful breeds

with a little Collie and German Shepherd

thrown in to make her even more intelligent.

I have never known a dog like her ever. She could read my mind.

She was gentle and loving and made me laugh

when I was sad or feeling down.

She was always at my side unless

she was laying outside in our big yard.

All the neighborhood dogs came to visit and play when we were home.

My friends loved her and she was always welcomed in their homes.

She was so well behaved and

laid back that she never once in her life hurt

even the smallest of children poking at her or pulling on her in my store.

She was truly an extraordinary animal.

I loved Angel Baby more than anyone or anything.

I told her that all the time. She could even say “I love you”.

We always called our friends on their birthdays and

sang “Happy Birthday” over the phone.

She loved to sing with me.

Sometimes we would even have

an occasional howling session in the store

– and even some customers would join in.

She was so funny understood so much that at times I was even shocked

at her capacity to comprehend what I was saying.

On our daily walks I’d call out to her

“Angel Baby do you want a doggie hug?”

and no matter how far ahead of me

she was she’d come running back and

let me put my arms around her big body.

Then she’d happily trot off again.

Angel came into my life after my most precious and

loved son was killed in an automobile accident.

This dog saved my life almost ten years ago.

Now she’s gone too and I can hardly bare

the sense of emptiness I feel in my house and life.

The house feels so different this place we’ve lived at for years so foreign.

It’s not the same intensity as losing my son but it’s a close second.

I don’t know how I will possibly ever adjust to this –

but I know I did with my son’s death – so I will with Angel Baby’s death.

All I know is I have been blessed in my life with two extraordinary beings –

one human one animal – and that they were both gone

before they’re full allotted time.

I will never ever understand these things and

I know it’s useless to try.

All I know is that they brought forth in me a profound love and

appreciation for being graced with their presence in my life and

I thank God now and forever for letting me

be a part of their life experience.

The only comfort I am feeling is

the hope that some extraordinary animals

are allowed to move on with us

when we leave this plane of existence.

If this is true and I believe in my heart of hearts it is –

then I have to believe that my son Christian is Angel Baby’s new caretaker.

Christian was such an animal lover –

I was always sad that he never had the chance to know Angel Baby.

Perhaps now he does.

I know this is long

thank you for letting me share my story

in the very early days of the shock and immense grief I am feeling.

I miss her so much.

I love you Angel Baby.

Nancy Brown