Otis Matthew Sanford by Melissa Renee Sanford / Melissa

The day my dog died, it tore me up inside. I was at my cousin’s house and my mom called me. She told me that something was wrong with otis. I asked her if he was going to be ok and she told me “no”. It felt like someone had ripped my soul right from my body. I couldn’t breathe.

Earlier that week, my dog was having heart attacks but I didn’t know. He kept running into walls. It was a Sunday afternoon and that was the worse day of my entire life. We had to get him put to sleep because he was deaf, blind, and he kept having strokes and heart attacks. What hurt me the most is that I couldn’t be there for him when he needed me the most. There was nothing I could do, though. I didn’t go with my mom when she had him put to sleep. It hurt too bad. I couldn’t sleep for a month. I couldn’t eat for weeks. I cried in school.

I once, almost wanted to kill myself. I felt like the only thing in this world that cared about me or that loved me has died and left me. But, then I figured he went to a better place. He got out. I’m stuck here, suffering.

I miss him so much, it hurts. I try not to think about it, but I can’t help it. He was my baby boy. I got him right after my dog Bruser died in ’97’. Otis was only four years old. He was 11 1/2 when he died. Even now it doesn’t seem real. I wish he were still here with me. I got a new dog now. Her name is Tragedy and it helped with the pain.
But, he’ll never be replaced…


Your mommy,
Otis Matthew Sanford
Melissa Renee Sanford