Hi everyone.
You’re receiving this letter
because you either interacted with Velvet
at some point or other in her life
heard me speak of her are a fellow pet owner or are simply a friend.
For those of you that never had the pleasure of meeting her
she was a pure-bred Siamese.
I received her from a family friend a few months after I turned 6 in 1983.
Velvet was roughly 4 to 6 weeks old at the time.
She passed away Saturday night at the age of 18 years 6 months.
If you didn’t know that’s a very advanced age for a cat.
They’re considered geriatric at 8
and the average life span is roughly 11-13 years.
Her life span of 18 ½ years is roughly equivalent
to a human living 90 years for perspective.
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I know this letter is long but I ask that you read it.
I spent a while remembering all the things in my life with Velvet and
writing them down as much as I could.
To give you all an idea of what she was like and
what she meant to me.
We took to each other rather quickly considering
she was a kitten and I was a little kid full of energy.
I had a ton of time to play with her talk to her and
pretty much build a very strong bond that lasted her entire life.
She was a typical Siamese in look; jet black legs ears tail and face
with a light tan/gray body color
that over the years changed to dark brown/gray.
However she wasn’t typical in her behavior.
Velvet would do little things that would amaze us as she grew up.
It wasn’t uncommon to see her use our toilet instead
of her litter box (my aunt Thea said it blew her mind
when she saw it especially since she had perfect aim. lol)
turn on the water faucet if she wanted a drink
or push open doors if she wanted to leave a room.
She even learned how to stick her paw underneath a door
if the space was large enough
or into the crack between the door and the wall
and pull until it came open.
As you can probably surmise by now
she was extremely intelligent.
Very much a house cat she could be seen romping down the hallways
up and down the stairs or settling into a ball
on your lap for a nap.
I spent many hours running through the house
with a shoe lace trailing behind me
laughing frantically as she gave chase.
At other times when I was in my “down time” mode
she would climb up on my bed and
plop herself right on top of a magazine I was reading at the time
or just sit and watch TV with me purring.
She was never fond of the outdoors
but as she grew older she began to grow bolder.
When we moved in the early 90’s
we had a front yard with a tree and two bushes.
During the summertime she would come out and
sit on the stoop with me and soak in the sun
sometimes venturing out far enough
to take a few sniffs of the bushes or roll in the grass.
I guess she’d realize where she was because
like clockwork she would get up and run back to me purr a little
and ask to be let back into the house.
That process would repeat itself a few times during the day every day
until it got too cold for her to be outside.
During other times of the year she would sit up
in the window sill and lazily watch the world go by.
She would show her affection in myriad ways.
I’d wake up in the morning with her sleeping
next to my head chest or back.
She’d meow and lick my face to wake me up in the morning
for cartoons on Saturday and for school on the weekdays.
Come to think of it maybe waking me up on weekdays
for school wasn’t a loving gesture hehe.
She was even very protective.
If she ever thought I was under attack she would rush to the rescue.
When I was little my mom would tickle me mercilessly
and I’d be laughing and crying sometimes screaming
because I couldn’t take it anymore.
The first time I remember Velvet came out of nowhere and
jumped on my mom’s leg and actually bit and clawed her.
That continued for a long time until my mom figured
it was best not to try and tickle me anymore
with Velvet around.
Later on when she was older and
couldn’t really move around that much
she would give a growl if I cried her name out
during a tickling session.
It was generally enough to make my mom !
stop (love ya mom!).
I guess it was one of those perks
that come from being a protective owner.
I would feed her meat from my plate tuna fish
that mom would make and other assorted goodies.
Naturally she relished the food to the point where a meal
would not go by where she wouldn’t paw my leg begging for food.
I pretty much would oblige in every case
even at the chastising from mother. 🙂
Over the years I naturally had other pets;
two gerbils two cats and two iguanas.
She never bothered the gerbils
(though she did kill the occasional mouse
that found its way into our house)
or the iguanas but she had problems with the other cats.
The first cat we got was an all white mutt named Barnacle.
They actually got along eventually after a few weeks of tension.
I guess because Velvet was young enough (9 I believe)
so that she could keep him in his place.
If he ever got out of line it wasn’t uncommon to see her bat him
across the face or knock him down.
With the pecking order firmly established she grew comfortable
and they even started to become good friends from what I could tell.
Unfortunately my mom decided to give him to some friends of hers
because he was a marauder of meat.
Anytime she left food out to defrost
he’d throw it on the floor and devour it.
He would also tip over the garbage looking for food.
I guess she got tired of it hehe.
It was the second cat that we got Orion
who caused all the major problems.
Velvet was older at that time (11 I think) and
couldn’t physically stand up to him.
Over the course of a few weeks
I noticed that she began to get listless and was losing weight quickly.
It turns out that Orion was stealing her food
not letting her use the litter box until he had soiled it and
was taking her sleeping spot (the bean bag under my bed).
Once I realized what was going on
I very quickly removed Orion from the household and
she bounced back to her normal self within a week.
After that there was never another pet in the house.
Amazingly Velvet was still very spry even at the age of 14.
It was no feat for her to jump up into my lap
when I was on the computer and settle in for a few hours
as I worked surfed or watched DVD movies
(this was before I got my entertainment set in 2k).
She was still able to jump up to the top bunk of my bed and
take a nap in the pile of clothes
that I neglected to hang up (sorry mom!).
Even at that advanced age
I could get her to run up and down the stairs
up and down our furniture chasing after a shoelace.
Naturally she wasn’t able to give chase as long;
usually a minute or two before she would have to sit down.
Those were the times that I would pick her up put her in my lap
and let her chew on the string while I brushed her with my hand.
I think I truly realized how deeply
she was attached to me when I went off to Yale in 1996.
My mom told me that every day that I was gone
she would wail for hours and hours on end
when she would pass my room.
She wouldn’t sleep anywhere else but under my bed
on the bean bag that I had given to her
and many times wouldn’t come out of the room
except to eat and use the litter box.
But when I would come home during vacation
the wailing would stop and she would treat my mom as if she didn’t exist.
When I left Yale in 1998 and came home
it was as if I never left to her.
In the years from 1998 to 2001
I really began to notice the effects of age on her body
as her sleeping patterns lengthened
she gained weight and her hair color darkened.
She even had to take the steps one at a time
sometimes catching her breath midway before continuing.
Arthritis set in on the arch of her back and her legs.
Eventually we had to get her medication
so that she could move around effectively.
Cloudiness began to set in around the outer edges of her eyes
and slowly crept in until both eyes were covered with a light film.
At the end she would sleep an average 21 to 23 hours a day
only waking to use the litter
get food and water or come and say hi to me.
I moved out with my partner Edgar Peterson in June 2001.
Velvet would cry all the time for the few months
that I was out of my mom’s house.
Again she never left my room unless
she wanted food or to use the litter.
One day my mom decided to bring her over so she could
see the new place.
Velvet hated traveling
(normally she would put up a tremendous struggle)
but that day she was unusually quiet and well behaved.
Well until she got to our apartment and saw me.
Then she started meowing and purring walking around the house
generally making herself at home.
After maybe half an hour she became really tired
so I put her up on our bed. She fell asleep instantly.
Maybe 2 to 3 hours later mom was ready to leave
so we began putting Velvet into her carrier.
She put up the most amazingly struggle I have ever seen.
Even when we finally managed to get her in the carrier
she butted her head up against the metal grating on the door
desperately trying to get out.
In all the years that we’ve taken her places
be it the vet moving or just a ride in the car
she never ever put up that much of a fight or seemed
that desperate to get out.
We figured that she didn’t want to leave me.
As soon as we brought her back upstairs
she stopped meowing and walked down the bedroom and went to sleep.
Thus Velvet moved in. Luckily Eddie likes cats. 🙂
By late 2001/early 2002 her age had finally caught up to her mentally.
There were behaviors that after researching
I realized were due to her advanced age.
Sometimes she would step halfway into the litter box
think that she was inside and “do her business” on the floor.
Other times she had difficulty walking in a straight line.
And many times she would meow for no reason
just long drawn out wails.
When she would sleep she had trouble keeping her head up.
I began realizing that her end was coming a few weeks ago
when the behaviors became more frequent.
Through it all she still made huge attempts to socialize.
If Eddie and I were watching TV
she’d come out and sit at my feet.
Once she struggled mightily to jump the 1 ½ ft clearance
to get on top of our leather sofa so she could watch a movie with us;
a clearance that in her youth would have been nothing to her.
I knew she was determined because she stared intently
at the spot she wanted to get to.
Finally after a few minutes of staring
she made the jump and landed barely
before settling in for the movie.
It was the last time she would make any jump.
April 6th Saturday night I took a shower.
As was customary for her when I came out of the shower
she got up out of her “Bed Buddies” pet bed and
walked over to me and sat at my feet as I dried off.
She placed a paw on my big toe as was usual
before lowering her head onto her leg and drifting off the sleep.
A few hours later I wrapped her up in my scarf and
carried her in my arms a few blocks to the pet hospital.
She didn’t struggle
but she did meow greatly when we left the apartment.
I just kept talking to her you know to keep her calm.
I just kept saying “Sshhh. It’s okay Velvet.
It’s alright. I’m right here.
I’m not going anywhere,” over and over again.
She settled quickly and even began purring.
We got to the hospital and she started crying again.
I had forgotten to keep talking to her.
I started again and she quieted down again relaxing in my arms.
I took her in one of the back rooms of the hospital
where the doctors let me stay with her.
She was as wide eyed as I’d ever seen her in a long time
maybe years.
I had forgotten how beautiful they were;
deep blue almost like crystal very piercing.
I kept talking to her rubbing her fur telling her how much I loved her
how much she meant to me.
The doctors took almost half an hour to finally come
but I’m glad they did take a long time.
It gave me time to really be alone with her and
cherish those last moments.
They asked me why I had come to the hospital
for the euthanasia procedure and I explained her symptoms;
suffering from natural aging wear and tear
on a physical and mental level.
You know it’s funny.
They gave the normal platitudes of
“Well we’re sorry about your loss” and whatnot.
But I could tell the change in their demeanor and attitude
when I said in between tears mind you
that I had her in my care since I was 6 and
that she was 18 ½ yrs of age.
It was hard for me to keep my demeanor together
no let me be honest.
I couldn’t keep myself together.
They asked if I wanted a few minutes more but I said no.
The doctor raised her hind leg and shaved a tiny spot
on her leg so that he could see a vein.
She began to struggle a little bit and complain
but I kept rubbing her and talking to her to calm her down again.
He slowly inserted the needle.
At that point I sat down eye to eye with Velvet and
rubbed her face softly
heard her purring as she looked at me.
As the doctor injected the solution
I could see her breathing slowing her eyes dilating.
I kept rubbing her and talking to her even as her life was slipping away.
She meowed quietly as the doctor finished the solution.
A few seconds passed before she took one last breath
and then she was gone.
My research on euthanasia told me that Velvet
would be put into a deep and irreversible sleep
would feel no pain as the solution
relaxed her heart muscles and diaphragm
and stopped neural activity.
It was comforting to know that she didn’t suffer any
during the procedure and that I was there with
her to see her through it.
Velvet was my first pet.
For all intents and purposes we grew up together.
It’s amazing how many things can happen over 18 ½ years.
When I put her life into perspective
she lived through four presidents three domestic terrorist attacks,
two wars economic booms and busts and
only one truly good Batman movie.
She had a full life in which she was loved dearly and
she returned that love.
I had a very difficult time writing this down.
I had to stop a few times.
Remembering many of these situations
brought uncontrollable tears to my eyes
but in the end I’m glad I did.
It gave me a chance to fully reflect over my life with my cat
and see how much she was a part of it.
I hope that those of you who are still reading
at this point enjoyed it in some small part.
I tried to convey the sense of meaning
that she had in my life and what she brought.
She was one of a kind.
Malik Graves-Pryor
| Velvet |
| Malik Graves-Pryor |