Author: Liz Cornish

I remember the first time I saw Callie. She and another black kitten were at the neighbor’s house. They had gotten the kittens for their daughter to play with. The little girl was only four and she used to beat the cats. So let’s just say that I adopted them.

Callie was shy, but she quickly overcame that with love and attention. She loved us all, but especially my son, Devon. She considered him to be her personal property.

She loved flowers and butterflies. My favorite photo of here is in the front garden of our home in Montana. I’ll always cherish that photo, just like I cherished her.

Callie died on January 23, 2007, when our house burned. Seven other cats died with her. Two escaped. I used to blame myself but I’ve gotten past that now.
Still, I miss them all.

Callie and all of her buddies, as well as many other pets I’ve owned, are all buried near where I live now. I do go visit sometimes just to tell them all that I’ll love them forever.

You are a special girl Callie and I’ll never forget you. Please help Devon get unstuck over this whole mess, since he simply can’t move on and forgive himself. Help him to let go and cherish the memories instead of all the anger and sadness over the fire.

And help me too, when I have those moments when I feel that crushing sadness. I have been able to move on, but from time to time I still grieve. I do miss you.

Rest in peace beautiful girl, until perhaps we meet again.

 

It’s been over a year since Firestar died. He was killed by the same dog that killed another one of my cats, Negra.

To say that the anger and sadness has lifted somewhat would be an understatement. I think someday it will but I always take my time working through these things.

We got Firestar in January of 2009 while living in Jefferson City, Montana. We got him from a veteran dying of cancer. All this man wanted was for his kitten to have a good home. For much of the time he had a wonderful home.

Firestar was a bright orange cat with the longest tail I’ve ever seen. When we moved to Roundup, Montana, he got in a fight that resulted in his tail being amputated. He still tried to wag the stump – he never once gave up on this. I also remember what a good patient he was. I had to flush the incision site twice a day. Firestar never hissed, spit or struggled. He knew I was trying to help him.

In 2011 I met a really nice man who invited me and my kids to move to Kansas. Like a fool I said yes. We did take all the cats, but when we got here Firestar took off. We found him on the same day that Negra died. He was so thin but I was sure I had him on the road to recovery. I had three wonderful weeks with him that I would never trade for nearly anything. We snugged and he would purr and give me kisses. Then came August 8 and that miserable dog of my boyfriend’s killing him.

He’s buried next to Negra under the tree in the back. All of my other cats are buried here as well. All have solar lights and will have flowers next spring.

My boyfriend and I are now broken up. Long story there and this is not the place for that discussion. Moving here was such a mistake. Not only am I trapped in a place I really don’t like, I lost four of my friends. I don’t like people at all; my cats are everything to me. Losing Firestar has been so hard, even after a year.

Firestar’s pet name was Kitten Guy. So in closing, I love you Kitten Guy and I am so sorry I let you down. You trusted me and you deserved so much better from me.

I was so lucky to have you as my friend and I hope that someday I’ll see you again. I’d hold you and give you a kiss and tell you how much I love you. Even if I could only have a minute it would be worth it just to hold you one more time.

I love you forever Kitten Guy. Please don’t forget that.

 

It’s been a bit over four months since Negra left me. Usually I write these the day my friend leaves me but this time has been so different.

Negra and her sister, Callie, were kittens at my neighbor’s. Their daughter abused these kittens horribly and I decided to take them in and give them a loving home.

I remember the night I took Negra. She was in the yard next door looking at me. I called to her – “Negra, come to Mama” and she came bounding over to me. That is one of the best memories I have of her.

Negra got horribly sick with distemper right after I rescued her but she got thru it
thanks to my outstanding vet, Eric Sorenson.

Over the next seven years Negra gave me so much love and joy – I can’t even put all of into words. She was priceless to me and she quickly became my best friend and I depended upon her for so much.

I was in a horrid marriage; both kids were a mess; and so was I. Negra helped me get through it all. Her lovely eyes and her purrs as she sat with me soothed me every time. I held her so many times while I cried – she always listened to me. She thought I was something special, and no one else made me feel that.

Negra believed in using all of her lives up too. She had the distemper; she was locked up for a week somewhere; she survived my house burning down; she survived missing in my new home for nearly a week; and she survived a severe beating that my son gave her.

But she couldn’t survive a fall from the rafters of my new home and the subsequent attack from my boyfriend’s dog. She died alone – I wasn’t there to help her. She did try to fight him off – she had his fur in her claws. She helped me thru so much and I wasn’t there for her.

She’s buried under a tree now. She’s looking north and west towards our old home in Montana. It’s a beautiful spot for a beautiful soul. I believe that God gave her a soul and that somewhere she is waiting for me. I hope I get to spend eternity with her. In the spring she will have a rose bush planted on her grave.

I was so lucky to have had Negra. She was the epitome of love, courage, compassion, and friendship. I love you Negra; I will never, ever forget all you gave me; and I will never stop missing you. Someday another cat may come take your old space, but no one will ever fill the hole in my heart.

Rest in peace now my beautiful girl. Thank you for the most wonderful seven years imaginable.

 

I only had you for a year bur during that time there was so much love and friendship between us. I’ll never forget you having the kitten on my lap and I will never ever forget how much you loved me. You made me feel like I was wanted and loved which is something people have never been good at. You raised 5 gorgeous kittens that I wish I could keep forever in your memory. You were sweet, gentle, loving, and you made me feel so very much loved. I was so lucky to have had you and I will forever be grateful for that time. Please know how much I love you and how much I always will love you. I hope I’m lucky enough to see you again someday and then we can pick up our friendship once again. I know you didn’t want to leave me; you just had to. Please watch over me and help me get through the hard times yet to come. You’re my best little friend and please don’t ever forget that Olive.

 

I remember the night you were born. You were tiny – the runt of the litter. I fell in love with you the minute I saw you – you were the most beautiful kitten I’ve ever seen. I think I named you almost immediately too – Panda Bear fit you.

You’ve been gone for two weeks now and I have to face the reality that you’re never coming home. I miss you so much and I wish I knew where you were so I could take care of you. I guess that’s more to comfort me than you; I know you are in Heaven now and that God is taking care of you for me.

You were/are such a wonderful friend. You showed me such love – I will never forget that. I could be feeling down and then you’d come sit with me. I loved petting you and hearing you purr your contentment. You helped me through some very rough times and I will never, ever forget you for that.

Most people in my life have been crappy to me. I call very few people my friend. At times I’ve been lonely, but you were always there to help me over the rough spots. Thank you so much for all the love you gave me. I can’t believe just how much love we shared in a bit more than a year. I am so grateful for that though, more than you will ever know.

I have some more rough times ahead and I hope you will be able to send me strength to meet these challenges.

I hope you’ve met the rest of the crew and that you like them all. I hope to see you all again someday. I’ll have a special hug and kiss just for you Panda. Then we can be together for all time.

Until then you will live on in my heart, as well as in Devon’s and Tara’s hearts. I’ll think of you when I see those gorgeous sunsets I love. I’ll think of you when I gaze at the stars at night. I’ll think of you when I see a full moon. You are a star that will never set or burn out – you are pure joy, love, and happiness.

Thank you for adding so much to my life. I can never thank you enough for all you’ve done for me. I can only hope I made you as happy and joyful as you made me. I love you forever, I miss you horribly, and I look forward to the day I will see you again.